#lena needs all the hugs

[natalievoncatte]

Everything was in place. Lena dropped down into the passenger seat of Jess’s car. The trunk was loaded with presents and books and Lena was ready. Jess fired up the engine of her 2009 Honda Civic and off they went, navigating National City traffic.

Lena’s stomach was full of butterflies. She had her hood up and was dressed down in sweats, not looking at all her fashion place self. Jess parked by one of the service entrances and a security guard let them in with a curt nod. Lena had dropped him a four figure tip to cooperate.

The kids were gathered in a common area on the fifth floor pediatric intensive unit, ranging in age from three to fifteen. Lena fought the lump that formed in her throat as they gathered, some of the younger ones in the laps of the older.

Lena started with a reading of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, complete with sill voices and big smiles and a lot of effort on her part to keep tears from welling in her eyes.

Some of these kids were having their last Christmas, and some of them knew it. Some didn’t. Others would go home, and a lucky few would help change the world with their participation in clinical trials.

On some level Lena knew that Kara would show up eventually- she’d been dropping in regularly enough, once learning that Lena read to the kids.

Sure enough, she showed up as the kids were eating turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy prepared under the supervision of a Michelin star chef that Lena had hired at great expense to prepare their dinner.

Supergirl, all swagger and power, strode into the room. The response was curious. They knew her of course, and she’d been there enough times, even read to them, that there was a peculiar familiarity to her visits and only the new kids got truly excited.

They were more excited by Kara’s plus one. She’d brought with her the most perfect Santa Claus that Lena had ever seen. No fake beard here; every whisker was real, as was every crease and wrinkle. Even his costume was flawless, velvet coat and paints lined with genuine fur. He had a huge beach sack thrown over one shoulder and greeted the kids with a cheer, setting to work handing out gifts.

Kara came over and stood next to Lena.

“You’ve outdone yourself this time,” said Lena.

Across the room, Santa gave a hearty Ho! Ho! Ho!, and had taken up a seat to invite kids onto his lap.

“Believe it or not,” Kara said, “he owes me a favor.”

Lena snorted and Kara winked.

“‘sides, I live at the North Pole, too. Sort of.”

Lena watched the man with the children. He really was quite good, a consummate professional.

She looked over at Kara. There was a twinge of pink in her cheeks and snowflakes melting in her hair, and her new suit showed off her muscular arms. More than that, there was a look of a wistful joy in her eyes as she watched the kids enjoy themselves.

Lena’s heart would have grown three sizes that day, if it didn’t already feel like it might burst through her ribs every time she looked at Kara, really looked at Kara.

She’d long ago admitted her feelings to herself- it was getting them out that was the problem, even now.

Across the room, Santa Claus stood, startling Lena out of her reverie.

“I’m sorry kids, but I really must go. Lots more visits to make tonight!”

He stood and walked over to Kara. “I do have that one stop to make before I begin my rounds proper. Shall we?”

He even had the perfect Santa voice.

Kara turned to Lena and offered a hand.

That was how Lena ended up in something like the setup for a bad joke: Riding in an elevator with Santa Claus and Supergirl.

It was actually rather awkward. Kara opened the roof access door and motioned for Lena, and the Santa Claus impersonator followed her out. Kara went last, lingering by the door.

“May we speak in private?” Santa said.

“Sure,” said Lena, happy to play along. She pulled her hood up against the chill and walked a few dozen paces from Kara, and Santa turned to face her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t bring you that easy bake oven you wanted when you were six,” he began.

Lena’s face fell. Lillian had exploded at her when she asked on Santa’s lap, a much less convincing Santa, and asked for the silly cooking toy.

She’d screamed that menial tasks were beneath a Luthor and Lena was supposed to ask for the American Girl dolls that Lillian had already bought, and what an ungrateful, spoiled little bitch she was. It was the first time that Lillian had called her that and far from the last; she’d added many insults to it over the years, like stupid or lazy or, most painfully of all, fat; dropping that one had sent Lena into a spiral of crash dieting that almost turned into full blown bulimia by the time she graduated from high school.

She’d never told anyone about the easy bake oven. Not even Kara.

Before Lena could demand an explanation or even speak, Santa reached into his bag, withdrew something, and handed it to her.

Lena took the stuffed bear on instinct. When she did she knew it was more than a bear. As her hands touched the somewhat ratty fur and she saw the little tear in his left ear she knew, she knew.

When the Luthors took her in, Lillian destroyed everything of her old life- everything of her mother, as if to erase her from ever existing. It was spiteful, and hateful. Lillian couldn’t revenge herself on his husband’s mistress so she did it to her child.

She’d burned Lena’s stuffed animals. They were all gone, reduced to ash.

Except… except…

“Clive?” Lena whispered, hot tears burning down her cheeks. “This is impossible, how…”

He placed a gloved hand on her shoulder and Lena felt a wave of indescribable shock roll through her. Something just… opened.

Her mind filled with an image of perfect clarity, and a song fresh and bright in her ears. Her mother’s voice and the distant sound of the sea that would eventually take her. All her life Lena could barely remember her mother- she clawed at scraps, more able to feel her than truly remember her.

Not anymore. As she clutched the bear to her chest, memory flooded her mind like warmth from a hearth fire filling a cold room. She grinned like a fool and choked back sobs.

“How?” Lena chirped out.

“Kara asked me to bring you something very special, and I do owe her a favor. I really must get going, though.”

Then she heard it. Jingling bells.

Lena had seen a woman fly; said woman had saved her from splatting on the pavement too many times. She had never seen reindeer fly, pulling a sleigh behind them.

Wait.

No.

This was not possible.

Santa Claus threw his sack in the rear of the sleigh and climbed aboard. He threw Lena a wave.

“Merry Christmas, Lena Luthor.”

“Wait,” Lena called. “Did you bring Kara something?”

“What Kara Zor-El Danvers wants, I cannot give her,” he said, with a cryptic grin.

Lena stumbled back as the reindeer launched into a full gallop with a blast of air, the rider snapping his reins. It was only then that Lena noticed that the lead animal had a glowing red nose.

Kara stepped up behind her and put her hands on Len/ shoulders.

“Kara,” Lena said. “That was the real Santa Claus.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t understand. That was the real Santa Claus. He’s real. Santa Claus is real and he gave me my stuffed bear back.”

As Lena turned, Kara smiled. “I know, baby.”

Lena swiped at her cheeks.

“I-I don’t know how you did this, but thank you. Thank you so much. I don’t even know what to say.”

Kara stepped closer, into her space. Very gently, she brushed away one of Lena’s tears with the pad of her thumb.

“You don’t have to say anything.”

“He said he couldn’t get you what he wanted. I find that hard to believe.”

“He can’t just give it to me because it’s not his to give. He did give me this, though.”

Kara reached under her cape, drawing out a small twig with a pair of scalloped leaves and some red berries.

“Is that mistletoe?”

“Yeah,” said Kara.

She lifted it over her head and held it there, smiling at Lena.

It took a moment for her brain to catch up. Kara was holding the mistletoe over her head. She was under the mistletoe.

Lena faltered for just a moment, but then stepped forward, closing what little gap was left between them. Kara was every inch the dashing prince as she put her arm around Lena’s waist, spinning her a little as the other hand cupped her chin and tilted her head just so for Kara to place a gentle, loving, and utterly devastating closed-mouth kiss on Lena’s lips.

Suddenly Lena understood what it was that Kara wanted and for the second time in as many minutes her heart soared and Lena threw her arms around Kara’s neck and they swayed there like dancers amid the snow flurries until Kara flew them home.

[swiftiethatlovesf1]

Toto x reader!wife please… they welcome a new edition to the Wolff pack 👶🏻 & Toto regrets not being present for Jack as much during his newborn stage, this time round he is, fitting into baby’s schedule rather than his. Fluff with reader & Jack taking on big brother duties 🥹

The wait was finally over. The past nine months had been a whirlwind of emotions, with your hormones playing havoc and everyone making adjustments for the new family member. It all began when your favorite snack suddenly became repulsive, followed by the inevitable bouts of morning sickness. Though you and Toto hadn't been actively trying, you also weren't avoiding it, and soon enough, a positive pregnancy test confirmed the big news.

After the announcement, your family dynamic shifted. Toto and Jack became protective and endearingly overbearing, rarely letting you out of their sight and insisting on handling every little task for you. During Jack's pregnancy, Toto's frequent travels for the team kept him away, but this time he vowed to be present. He took time off to be with you and Jack, diving headfirst into preparations. His first project was transforming a room into the new nursery.

"Alright, team," Toto announced, rolling up his sleeves as he surveyed the empty room. "Let's turn this place into the perfect nursery."

"Dad, can I help with the painting?" Jack asked eagerly, already clutching a paintbrush with excitement.

"Of course, buddy," Toto replied, smiling warmly. "But remember, we're using paint, and we need to be careful."

You stood in the doorway, amusement dancing in your eyes as you leaned against the frame. "You two really don't need to do everything. I can help too, you know."

Toto turned to you, shaking his head firmly but gently. "Absolutely not. You're on strict relaxation duty. Doctor's orders."

Jack nodded in agreement, mimicking his father's serious expression. "Yeah, Mom, you need to rest. We got this."

You chuckled, walking over to them. "Okay, okay. But I can at least supervise, right?"

Toto guided you to a chair, his touch tender. "You can supervise from here. Feet up."

Jack began stirring the paint with great concentration. "What color are we starting with, Dad?"

"The light green," Toto replied. "It's calming and perfect for the baby."

As they painted, you felt a wave of gratitude wash over you. "You know, I appreciate all this effort, but you both don't have to be so overprotective."

Toto glanced at you, his eyes softening with love. "I missed so much last time. This time, I'm not going to miss a single moment."

Jack nodded vigorously. "Yeah, and I'm going to be the best big brother ever. I want everything to be perfect."

You smiled, your heart swelling with love. "Well, with the two of you taking care of everything, I have no doubt it will be."

Then came the gender reveal. You decided on a private celebration with close friends and family. The Mercedes team surprised you with a personalized car for the reveal. As Jack unveiled the car, the sight of a pink car triggered joyous screams and happy tears.

Jack jumped up and down, clapping his hands. "It's a girl! It's a girl!"

Toto wrapped his arms around you, his eyes glistening with tears of happiness. "We're having a daughter," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

You looked up at him, your own tears of joy spilling over. "I can't believe it, Toto. We're having a little girl."

Jack ran over and hugged both of you tightly. "I'm going to have a baby sister! This is the best day ever!"

Your friends and family cheered, the sound of cameras clicking as they captured the joyous moment. The pink car gleamed in the sunlight, symbolizing the pure happiness that filled the air.

Since Jack was already four, you and Toto decided to let him choose her name. With a beaming smile, he chose Lena.

On a sunny day in August, Lena was born. The procedure went smoothly, and soon enough, you had your precious baby in your arms. Jack looked up at you both, his eyes wide with excitement. "Can I help take care of her? I'll be the best big brother ever!"

You laughed softly, ruffling his hair. "Of course, Jack. She's going to be so lucky to have you."

Toto nodded, smiling down at Jack. "You're already the best big brother, buddy. She's going to adore you."

And from that moment, your little family of three grew to four, filling your hearts with boundless joy and love.

[meazalykov]

don't bleed where you cannot heal

lena oberdorf x reader requested

summary: there is a thin line between love and hate

warnings: angst, acl injuries, swearing

the stadium is getting you excited. it’s a friendly match, but for you, it’s anything but. 

this is all preparation for the upcoming world cup, your second. this is what you’ve dreamed of since you were a kid. the world stage, the chance to prove yourself once again as one of the best players in the world with the best country in the world.

the first whistle cuts through the air, and the game begins. germany presses hard from the start, their relentless high line suffocating, but your team is known for your aggression and tactical brilliance. 

you know how to play under pressure. as the minutes tick by, you quickly realize that your primary challenge tonight isn’t the team as a whole. it’s their number six, lena oberdorf.

she’s everywhere. the woman’s presence is like a shadow, constantly dogging your steps. the way she reads the game is impressive, and she’s physical—too physical. the first time she shoves you off the ball, it’s unnecessary. 

you had already passed it away, the play was moving forward, and yet her shoulder slams into you with enough force to make you stumble.

“get the fuck off me!” you snap, spinning to glare at her.

she doesn’t flinch. doesn’t even blink. lena just shakes her head and walks away, her expression calm, almost cold. it infuriates you, but you swallow the anger, forcing yourself to focus. she wants a reaction, and you won’t give her the satisfaction, even though you almost did.

the next twenty minutes are a battle of wills. she pushes, you evade. she lunges, you anticipate. it’s a dance, one where you refuse to let her lead. then, just before halftime, you seize your moment. the ball finds you outside the box, and you see her diving in for another tackle. 

you leap over her outstretched leg, the studs of her boot missing you by inches. planting your foot, you unleash a strike that sails cleanly into the top corner of the net.

the roar of the crowd is deafening, your teammates rushing to you in celebration. your captain grabs you in a tight hug, laughing as she says, 

“lets fucking go!!!!!”

as you jog back to midfield, you glance at lena, her frustration barely concealed, but she doesn’t say a word. you smirk, letting the satisfaction of the moment fuel you as the halftime whistle blows.

the locker room is buzzing during the break, your team riding the high of the lead. your coach gathers everyone, clipboard in hand, her expression serious despite the score.

“good half,” she begins, her voice cutting through the chatter. “don’t get comfortable though. their number six—” she doesn’t need to say lena’s name for everyone to know who she’s talking about—“is the anchor of the german team. she going to come out swinging. they don’t want to lose this, and she’s not the type to back down looking at what y/n is enduring.”

you nod, already expecting it. “i can handle it,” you say, your voice steady. you mean it. you’ve faced players like her before, and you’re not about to let her throw you off your game.

your captain gives you a reassuring pat on the back. 

“don’t let her get in your head.”

the second half begins, and lena’s intensity ramps up as expected. she’s glued to you, her physicality increasing with every passing minute. you can feel her presence even when she’s not touching you, the way she presses close, cutting off your options, forcing you to think faster, move smarter. 

in the 72nd minute, you’re sprinting down the left wing, the ball at your feet. your eyes scan the field, spotting your left winger making a run. just as you’re about to release the pass, a sudden force slams into you from behind.

the orange colored boot clips your ankle, and you go flying toward your team’s bench. the world tilts, and you hit the grass hard, skidding along the ground.

the whistle blows sharply, the referee immediately reaching for her pocket. you hear the crowd react—boos and gasps, some shouting for a red card. lena stands by one one of her teammates, their captain alex, her expression unreadable as the yellow is shown. 

she doesn’t argue, doesn’t apologize. she just turns and walks away, leaving you fuming.

“are you serious right now?” you mumble under your breath, pushing yourself up. pain radiates from your ankle, but you grit your teeth and wave off the medical staff. you’re not letting her see you weak.

your coach yells from the sideline, “need a sub?”

you nod, forcing yourself to stand. “i’m fine,” you call back, though the sting in your ankle says otherwise.

the game restarts, and you barely have time to settle before lena comes at you again. this time, it’s worse. you’ve just turned with the ball when she crashes into you, her body slamming against yours. your right leg gets caught awkwardly between hers, and you feel it—a sickening pop that shoots through your knee like lightning.

the scream tears from your throat before you can stop it. you collapse to the ground, clutching your knee, the pain blinding. it’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before, a sharp, unbearable agony that leaves you gasping for air. 

your teammates are there in seconds. one of them kneels beside you, her hand on your shoulder. unfortunately, it's a teammate who is coming back from their own acl injury. 

“stay down, stay down,” she says, her voice panicked. 

“don’t move.”

your captain storms toward lena, fury etched into her face. “are you trying to kill her? what the hell is wrong with you, you psychopath?!” she yells, jabbing a finger in lena’s direction.

lena stands her ground, her arms crossed, her face stoic as alex comes to her aid. she doesn’t respond, but the tension is palpable.

you can barely focus on the exchange, the pain consuming every ounce of your attention. your hands shake as you clutch your knee, your breathing ragged. tears stream down your face, though you try to hide them, burying your face in the grass.

“fuck,” you whisper, the word barely audible. deep down, you know what this is. you don’t want to admit it, but the telltale pop, the way your knee feels unstable—it’s your acl. 

“don’t say that,” one of your teammates says quickly, her voice trembling. 

“it could be something else. just… just breathe, okay?”

the medics arrive, carefully stabilizing your leg. every movement sends a fresh wave of pain through you, and you bite down hard on your lip to keep from screaming again. the world cup is only a month away. the thought makes your stomach churn. this wasn’t supposed to happen. 

your coach is by your side now, her face pale with concern. 

“we’re here, okay? just hold on. you’re going to be fine.”

fine. the word feels like a cruel joke. as they lift you onto the stretcher, your eyes meet lena’s one last time. there’s something in her expression now—a flicker of guilt, maybe regret—but you can’t bring yourself to care.

 all you can think about is the unbearable pain in your knee and the dream that’s slipping away.

the year since your acl injury was rough. you’ve been with bayern munich since transferring from chelsea in june 2023, but the timing of your injury had kept you sidelined, robbing you of the chance to have a true debut with bayern that year. 

now, with the olympics looming and a string of friendlies leading up to the tournament, you’ve finally made it back. the game against poland is your first international appearance since the injury, and while you’re excited, you’re cautious. 

you’ve come too far to risk it all now. 

the friendly goes smoothly. you keep your movements measured, easing into the rhythm of the game without overexerting yourself. your teammates rally around you, celebrating when you register an assist in the second half.

the final whistle brings relief, not just for the victory, but for the reassurance that your knee feels strong. you’ve made it this far.

back at bayern, the news of lena joining the team had been a bitter pill to swallow. the same lena who caused your acl tear. the same lena who showed no remorse, at least not that you saw. 

every time her name is mentioned, your stomach churns, and your teammates know it.

“she’s not as bad as you think,” lea had said one day in the training room, her voice cautious. 

“obi is my best friend. she didn’t hurt you on purpose.”

you scoffed, stretching your hamstring. 

“lea, i know she’s your best friend, but you don’t know what it’s like to be taken out like that. to lose everything for a year because someone couldn’t control themselves on the pitch.”

lea had frowned, her usual brightness dimmed. 

“she does feel bad, you know. she’s just not great at showing it. she wanted to talk to you when she visited here.”

“then she should’ve done it,” you’d snapped, your frustration bubbling over. 

“instead of waiting for me to approach her. that’s not how this works.”

lena’s acl injury in a friendly against austria happened before the olympics. after hering about it, you believed that it was karma. yes, a part of you felt vindicated, another part of you—buried deep—felt something else. pity, maybe. understanding, even. you’d been there, after all. the recovery, the mental toll, the feeling of being left behind while the world moved on without you. 

you quickly pushed those thoughts aside. she was the reason for your pain, and any sympathy you had was fleeting.

the olympic semifinal against germany is intense. both teams leave everything on the pitch, the game eventually decided by a single goal in extra time. your country wins, securing a spot in the final. 

as the celebrations begin, you take a moment to greet your bayern teammates—sydney, lea, giulia, and klara—who’ve come over to congratulate you.

“great game,” sydney says, pulling you into a quick hug before stepping back. 

“your knee is looking sharp.”

“thanks,” you reply, smiling. 

“you guys were solid too. it could’ve gone either way.”

you swap jerseys with sydney, holding hers in your hand as you turn to lea. 

“you okay? that tackle toward the end looked rough.”

you’re referring to a tackle one of your teammates did on lea, where it seemed like lea’s ankle was kicked in. 

lea waves you off. 

“i’m fine. it’s nothing.”

the conversation flows easily, lighthearted. you’re laughing at something giulia says when you catch sight of lena approaching out of the corner of your eye.

she’s on crutches, her pace slow but determined. your stomach tightens.

she’s heading straight for the group.

“uh, i’m sorry i think i hear my teammate calling for me–i– i’ve gotta get back to my team,” you say abruptly, cutting sydney off mid-sentence. you offer a tight smile before jogging away, your pulse quickening. 

you don’t look back, but you know she’s watching you.

behind you, the group falls silent for a moment before sydney breaks it. “she’s avoiding you again,” she says bluntly, her eyes on lena.

“yeah,” lena replies, her voice low. there’s a faint crease between her brows, the closest thing to a frown she’s shown all evening.

“are you ever going to apologize to her?” sydney asks, crossing her arms.

“i tried,” lena says, shifting her weight slightly on her crutches. 

“the first day at bayern, i walked up to her during warmups, but as soon as she saw me coming, she bolted. it’s been like that ever since. she won’t even stay in the same room as me if she can help it.”

klara sighs, glancing at lena. 

“have you tried writing to her? or asking someone else to talk to her for you?”

“what would i even say?” lena asks, her frustration evident. 

“sorry i ruined your career for a year? sorry i made you miss the world cup where you had to be left out of your team making it to the final?”

“yes,” klara replies firmly. “that’s exactly what you should say.”

lea shakes her head, her expression sympathetic. 

“i’ve tried talking to her,” the blonde says. 

“but it’s tough. she’s… she’s still dealing with it. at least the mental part.”

“she hates me,” lena mutters, her voice barely audible.

“she doesn’t hate you,” lea insists, though her tone suggests even she’s not entirely convinced. 

“she’s just angry. and hurt. give her time.”

“time,” lena echoes bitterly. 

“it’s been a year. how much more time does she need?”

sydney shrugs. 

“look, you’ve got a lot of ground to make up. you can’t just expect her to forgive you overnight.”

lena exhales sharply, her grip tightening on her crutches. “i never meant to hurt her,” she says quietly. 

“it wasn’t intentional.”

“we know,” lea says gently. 

“but you have to make her believe that.”

as you jog back to your team, you feel the weight of their eyes on your back. you know you’re avoiding her. it’s not subtle, and everyone has noticed. you can’t bring yourself to face her. not yet. the wound is still too raw, the memories too vivid.

you’re back from your acl injury, but you’re scared of it happening again. the first few weeks of recovery, while seeing your country making it to the world cup final without you, was one of the darkest points in your life. you believe that your country could’ve won the final if you were present. instead, lena had to be overly aggressive in a friendly game. 

you try to focus on the celebration, on your teammates and the victory for going to the final of the olympics. however, lena’s presence lingers. 

you don’t want to think about her, about the injury, about the months of recovery that followed. no matter how hard you try, she’s there, a reminder of everything you’ve endured. she is going to be your teammate during the club season, which you have no idea how you will avoid her then.

as you stand on the sideline, watching your team huddle around your coach, you catch a glimpse of lena out of the corner of your eye. she’s still with sydney and the others, her expression distant.

for a moment, you wonder what she’s thinking. but you quickly push the thought away. it doesn’t matter.

you’ve got a final to prepare for, and she’s the last thing you need on your mind.

three weeks later, the golden medal resting in your room is a reminder of everything you’ve overcome. winning the olympic gold with your country felt like redemption, a tangible reward after the hell of the past year. 

everyone at bayern has been nothing but supportive since your return, congratulating you with hugs and pats on the back when you walked into training the first day back. even the german girls, who’d taken bronze, had been gracious. most of them, anyway.

now, with training over, you’re sitting in the lounge, nursing a sports drink and watching tuva and alana messing around on the pitch outside. their laughter carries faintly through the glass, light and carefree, as they attempt some flashy dribbling moves. 

you smile to yourself, their joy contagious even from afar.

the door behind you opens and closes softly, and you think it’s georgia. she’d left a few minutes ago, maybe forgetting her jacket or something. turning around with a small smile, you open your mouth to greet her—but your smile instantly fades.

it’s not georgia. it’s lena.

you freeze, your body stiffening like prey caught in a predator’s gaze. lena’s crutches are gone now, and though she still has a slight limp, she moves with ease. 

the expression on her face is serious, but her eyes hold something softer, something almost vulnerable. 

“can we talk?” she asks, her voice steady but quieter than you’ve ever heard it. 

you shake your head immediately, panic rising in your chest. “no,” you say firmly, already standing. 

you grab your drink and try to walk past her, but she moves to block the door.

“please,” she says, her tone bordering on desperate now. 

“just… five minutes. that’s all I’m asking.”

you hesitate, your jaw clenching. 

“why? so you can say sorry in five minutes and think everything will magically be fine like the last year did not happen? no thanks.”

she exhales sharply, frustration flashing across her face. 

“it’s not like that.”

“then what is it, lena?” you snap, your voice rising. 

“what do you want from me? because I really can’t do this right now.”

“i want to fix this,” she says, her voice firm. 

“i can’t stand how things are between us. i hate it.”

“oh, you hate it?” you laugh bitterly, setting your drink down on a nearby table. 

“well, welcome to the fucking club. do you know how much i hated not being able to play for a year? watching everyone else live my dream while i was stuck rehabbing? you did that to me, lena. you.”

her face pales, but she doesn’t back down. “i know,” she says quietly. 

“and i’ve tried to tell you—”

“when?” you cut her off, your anger bubbling over. 

“when did you try, huh? because i don’t remember you saying a single word to me after it happened. not on the field, not in the locker room, not at bayern. nothing. you just… moved on like it didn’t matter.”

“that’s not true,” she says, her voice shaking slightly. 

“i’ve felt awful about it every day since it happened. but every time i tried to talk to you, you wouldn’t let me.”

“can you blame me?” you shoot back. 

“every time i see you, i just… i can’t stop thinking about it. the pain, the surgery, the months of recovery. and then you come to bayern like nothing ever happened, and i’m supposed to just… what? smile and be your teammate?”

she flinches at your words but keeps her gaze locked on yours. “it wasn’t like that for me,” she says.

 “i’ve been trying to figure out how to fix this since the day it happened, but you shut me out before i even had the chance.”

you cross your arms, glaring at her.

“maybe because you didn’t show any remorse until you tore your own acl. maybe you needed to feel that pain to understand what you did to me.”

lena’s eyes widen, and for a moment, you think she might cry. but she takes a deep breath, steadying herself. 

“that’s not fair, and you know it,” she says quietly. 

“i didn’t need to tear my acl to feel remorse. i felt it the second you hit the ground screaming. i felt it every time i saw you in rehab, every time i saw your name on the injury list. yes, i was too much of a coward to say anything then, but it doesn’t mean i didn’t care.”

your anger falters slightly, the raw honesty in her voice catching you off guard. you look away, your chest tightening. “then why didn’t you say anything?” you ask, your voice softer now. 

“why didn’t you just… apologize?”

“because i was scared,” she admits, and the vulnerability in her tone surprises you. 

“i was scared you’d hate me even more, that it wouldn’t make a difference. and then you came back, and i saw how much you hated me, and it just… it felt like there was no point.”

you sit down heavily on the couch, running a hand through your hair. the tension in your chest doesn’t ease, but the anger begins to ebb, replaced by a dull ache. “you don’t get it,” you say quietly. 

“it wasn’t just the injury. it was everything after. the doubt, the fear, the feeling that i’d never be the same player again. i blamed you for all of it because it was easier than blaming myself.”

“you shouldn’t have to blame yourself for any of it,” lena says, sitting down across from you. her voice is gentle now, almost pleading. 

“it was my fault. i was reckless, and i’m sorry. i know that doesn’t fix anything, but it’s the truth.”

you look at her, searching her face for any sign of insincerity, but all you see is regret. for the first time, you notice how tired she looks, how the weight of the past year has clearly worn on her too.

“i don’t know if i can just forgive you,” you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.

“i’m not asking you to,” she says quickly. 

“i just… i don’t want you to hate me anymore. i can’t stand it.”

you exhale shakily, the vulnerability in her words breaking down the last of your defenses. 

“i don’t hate you,” you say finally. 

“i thought i did, but… i think i was just angry. at you, at myself, at everything.”

she nods slowly, relief softening her features. “that’s a start,” she says, a small, tentative smile tugging at her lips.

you shake your head, a faint laugh escaping despite the heaviness in the room. 

“you’re really persistent, you know that?”

“i’ve been told,” she says, her smile growing. 

“but for what it’s worth… you’re worth it.”

the months following your tense conversation with lena go smoother than you ever thought possible. she’s still lena but she’s also softer now, more willing to meet you halfway. you’re not best friends, but the animosity is gone, replaced with something… lighter. 

every time she hits a milestone in her recovery, you find yourself smiling. not the forced, polite smile you’d given her before, a genuine one. when she starts jumping on her injured leg, you can’t help but feel proud. 

when she takes her first jog, the grin on her face is contagious, and you find yourself clapping along with the team. it reminds you of yourself.

when lena announces to the locker room one day that she might be back to training by march 1st, the excitement is palpable. even you can’t help but cheer, giving her a small nod when her eyes meet yours. 

lena’s face lights up. for a moment, you wonder how you ever managed to hate her.

the team notices the shift between you two. 

“you and lena might actually be friends now,” lea teases one afternoon, nudging you with her elbow. you roll your eyes but don’t deny it. truthfully, the idea doesn’t bother you as much as it would have a few months ago.

fate, as always, has other plans.

it starts small, almost imperceptible. you catch yourself watching lena more often, your eyes drawn to her when she’s on the sidelines. during a match against frankfurt, you score a goal, the kind of strike that makes the crowd erupt. 

as you jog back to your position, your eyes instinctively find her in the stands. she’s watching you, her face glowing with pride, and you smirk up at her. no hand symbol, no exaggerated gesture—just a simple smirk and head nod. 

the way her smile widens in response sends a strange flutter through your chest.

then there’s the time in the lounge when lena tries to lift something too heavy for her recovering leg. you’re across the room when you see her struggling, and without thinking, you rush over.

“let me help,” you say, taking the weight from her hands.

your fingers brush hers as you adjust your grip, and for a moment, neither of you moves. her hand is warm beneath yours, and the realization that you don’t want to let go hits you like a freight train. 

before you can process it, lea walks in, and you rip your hand away like you’ve been burned. lena doesn’t say anything, but the flicker of disappointment in her eyes stays with you for the rest of the day.

it’s lena who makes the first move. subtle at first—lingering glances, the occasional brush of her arm against yours—but then bolder. during a team dinner, she catches your eye from across the table and winks. your cheeks flush, and she smirks knowingly but that was not enough for the german woman.

she sits beside you at the team dinner, and doesn’t mind the fact that she links her hand with yours, pulling both of your hands to hold together on top of your left thigh. it’s maddening, really, how easily she gets under your skin now in a different and better way, but you can’t deny the way your heart races every time she’s near.

one evening after training, you’re alone in the lounge again, sipping on a protein shake and scrolling through your phone. outside the window, you can see tuva and alana messing around on the pitch, their laughter faint but audible. 

the door opens, and you glance up, expecting georgia or lea. instead, it’s lena.

your heart skips a beat, but you quickly school your expression, trying to seem nonchalant. 

“hey,” you say, your voice more neutral than warm.

“hey,” she replies, closing the door behind her. she hesitates for a moment, then crosses the room, sitting on the couch opposite you. 

“can i ask you something?”

you nod, setting your drink down. 

“sure.”

she looks nervous, a rare sight that catches you off guard. “do you… consider me a friend?” she asks, her voice quieter than usual.

you blink, caught off guard by the question. “uh… kinda?” you say, the word slipping out before you can think it through.

obi’s face falls slightly, and you immediately feel a pang of guilt. “kinda?” she repeats, her tone laced with disappointment. 

“so you still hate me?”

“no, no,” you say quickly, sitting up straighter. 

“it’s not that. it’s just… complicated.”

“then explain it to me,” she says, her voice firmer now. 

“please.”

you exhale, running a hand through your hair. 

“it’s hard, okay? for so long, all i could feel when i looked at you was anger. and then you got hurt, and it was like… i didn’t know what to feel anymore. i wanted to hate you, but i couldn’t. and now… now i don’t even know what this is.”

“what this is?” she echoes, her eyes searching yours.

you nod, swallowing hard. 

“yeah. us. whatever we are.”

she’s silent for a moment, then leans forward, her elbows resting on her knees. 

“what if i told you i don’t want to be just friends?”

your breath catches, your eyes snapping to hers. 

“what?”

“i like you,” she says simply, her voice steady despite the vulnerability in her eyes. 

“i’ve liked you for a while now. and i know i screwed up, and i know i don’t deserve anything from you, but i can’t keep pretending i don’t feel this way.”

your heart is pounding so loudly you’re sure she can hear it. “lena…” you start, but your voice falters.

“you don’t have to say anything,” she says quickly. 

“i just needed you to know.”

you take a shaky breath, the weight of her words settling over you. “i didn’t want to call you a friend,” you say slowly, your voice barely above a whisper, “because i don’t want to be just friends either.”

her eyes widen slightly, hope flickering across her face. 

“i don’t know when it happened, but… it’s there. i feel it too.”

she doesn’t hesitate. in one smooth motion, she moves closer, her hand reaching out to cup your cheek. “can i?” she asks softly, her eyes locked on yours.

you nod again, unable to find the words. her lips meet yours, gentle at first, testing the waters. your heart races, your hands instinctively finding their way to her waist. the kiss deepens, slow and deliberate, as if you’re both trying to make up for all the time you spent apart. 

her lips are soft, warm, and they taste faintly of spearmint gum.

when you finally pull back, you’re both breathing heavily, her forehead resting against yours. “how does it feel to kiss the girl you hated a year ago?” she teases, a playful smile tugging at her lips.

you laugh softly, swatting her arm. 

“don’t ruin the moment.”

“what moment?” she asks, grinning now.

“this moment.”

this time, it’s you who leans in, capturing her lips in another kiss. as if you didn’t hate her one year ago.

masterlist

[fazedlight]

Leaning In

Everything felt strange.

It felt strange to see sunlight again. To walk into her apartment. To hug Alex again, hug Lena, hug the rest of the superfriends. To hear cars roll by and planes overhead and people everywhere. 

Compared to the phantom zone, everything was strange.

Wires were crossed, Kara thought, looking over at Lena with an overwhelming sense of guilt at what she had almost done, days before. Lena sat quietly on Kara's couch with a glass of wine, eyeing Kara from across the coffee table where Brainy and Alex were finishing out their game of Monopoly.

It had only been four days since her return, and Alex hadn’t given her a moment of solitude, so overjoyed to finally have her sister back. And Kara was glad for the noise, for the life that was back in her life with all the superfriends, chatter and colors and hugs instead of the desolate wasteland of the phantom zone. 

But in that time, Kara and Lena hadn’t had a moment alone together, leaving a sinking pit in Kara’s stomach when she thought about when she’d next have a real conversation with the Luthor. Does she realize?, Kara thought, Does she know I almost tried to kiss her?

The phantom zone breaks people. It’s why Krypton used it as a prison, why it became such an effective deterrent. Her brain wasn’t normal when she returned. She normally knew better. Knew better than to try to kiss her best friend. But in her traumatized and mostly isolated state, Kara had briefly forgotten the sort of decorum required with normal living - that her months of wishing she were home in Lena’s arms didn’t mean that her daydreams had become real.

Brainy finally won the game of Monopoly - proud that he had been able to knock Lena out of the game early, virtually guaranteeing his victory - and the superfriends finally began packing up to go home. Alex pulled Kara into a tight hug, planning on giving the kryptonian some space for the night, the first where Kara would sleep in her own bed instead of the Tower. “Coffee tomorrow morning?” Alex asked adamantly, Kara quickly agreeing.

One by one, the superfriends made their way out the door - until only Lena remained, still sitting on the couch, though she had set down the glass of wine. Kara turned awkwardly from her place by her kitchen island, watching the Luthor still watching her.

Slowly, Lena rose from her seat, making her way over to Kara. “Can we talk?” she asked.

Kara nodded, glancing nervously to the side. She knows. “I’m sorry,” Kara murmured. “When I came back, I- I wasn’t thinking.”

Lena’s brow furrowed in confusion. “You don’t need to be sorry, Kara.”

Kara tilted her head back up at Lena. “Are we- are we talking about the same thing?”

“Aren’t we?” Lena said quietly.

Kara swallowed. Just lay the cards on the table, she thought to herself. “I’m talking about - I tried to kiss you. Before I remembered you wouldn’t want it. I mean, even if you did-” Kara cut herself off, glancing to the floor. Rao, I should’ve thought through this more instead of babbling…

But to her surprise, she heard Lena step towards her, until the brunette was close enough to clasp onto Kara’s hand. Kara glanced up again, taking in Lena’s demure expression. “Even if I did?” Lena asked.

Kara’s eyes flitted between Lena’s, noting how her heart was beating faster, how there was a light blush crossing her face. Oh, Kara thought, feeling a small burn on her own cheeks as she realized what was happening. “Even if you did,” Kara said shyly, “I wouldn’t want our first kiss to be in front of everyone else.”

Lena smiled softly, giving Kara’s hand a gentle squeeze. “We’re alone now,” she said. 

Kara smiled back. “We are,” she said warmly, pausing for one more moment to take in Lena’s face. Lena tilted her head, and Kara leaned towards her.

And this time, she didn’t stop.

[maisanshine]

𝙒𝙃𝙄𝙇𝙀 𝙒𝙀 𝙒𝘼𝙄𝙏 | 𝙅𝙅𝙆

𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙏 𝙏𝙀𝙒𝙒𝙒𝙒𝙒𝙊𝙊 𝙄𝙎 𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙀𝙀𝙀𝙀𝙎𝙎 𝙒𝙊𝙋 𝙒𝙊𝙋

Pairing- exfwb!reader

Warnings- angst, cheating, asshole jk and smut literally forgot what I wrote

Wc; 8.7k

Not edited

𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗲-

🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮

Ever since Jungkook and you so-called "broke up," he has been working up weird habits. He's found himself following you sometimes. He keeps tabs, especially on your boyfriend, Jimin.

Jungkook is disappointed that he didn't try to make your shared relationship better than it was. Jungkook makes his daily rounds on his morning ride. He drives past your shared apartment with Lena, and he sees you walking out in your pink-stained robe.

He thinks to go the other way the run into you accidentally to tease you with a conversation. He missed your voice

~

You sit in your apartment, thinking about Jungkook. It is about 6:00 a.m., and the sun is now coming up.

You turn to your right to see Jimin knocked out of your bed. It's been about two weeks since you last saw Jungkook.

You couldn't believe him; he dared to tell you he loved you after everything. Really, what the fuck?

You feel your body heat up, and you carefully walk out of bed. Putting some shoes on. You look ridiculous.

You have black boots on and your PJs on, and your head looks like a sack of shit. But you need fresh air. You walk out of your building with your robe on. Walking through the streets.

You walk off for a while until you land on a familiar path. You shake your head at Jungkook's apartment building. You wince, and you continue walking. Until you hear the sound of a motorcycle driving past you and you turn to see it stop next to you,.

You try and move, but the man takes off his helmet, and of course, it's Jungkook.

"Jesus, don't you think it's too early to be riding a motorcycle?" You say you are trying to move past him.

He stops you, taking your arm. "It's never too early; what are you doing around here trying to win me back?" He jokes, but you whip his arm away.

"What? No, I just went on a walk!" You yell, and he laughs.

"My legs just lead me here, that's all," he nods, leaning into you.

"Then your legs miss me." You don't say anything else, and you storm off yelling once you're at least a good 5 feet away.

"I have a boyfriend!"

"But you don't even like him!" He yells back, but it falls on deaf ears. You're striking off and not looking back.

When you make it back to your apartment, Jimin is walking out of your bedroom, his face puffy from sleep.

Jimin is a beautiful guy; he's nice, and he's very considerate. You don't deserve him.

"Good morning, pretty," he says, and you smile while he places a peck on your lips. "Good morning." You give him a hug, burying yourself in his chest, and he returns the favor, wrapping his arms around your waist and trailing his pointer finger up and down your spine.

It's not that you don't like Jimin; you like him and have love for him. But it doesn't compare to the love you have for Jungkook.

Even though Jungkook wasn't there emotionally, he was there physically. You guys never had a bad interaction in bed.

Jimin is there emotionally, and you haven't slept with him yet to see what the physical interaction would be like.

With all the signs, it seems like you and Jimin would have an amazing relationship if Jungkook wasn't standing like a brick wall in the way.

Jimin drags you into the bathroom with him as you hug him from behind while he washes his face and brushes his teeth.

You stand there and admire his beauty. Put it in the back of your heart. Unfortunately, his name isn't written on it; it's Jungkook's, and it hurts you to know that it'll take a while to print his name on it.

But if he's worth the time, then you'll proceed until it happens.

Getting ready for the day, you and Jimin walk out of your room fully dressed. You see Lena sitting on the island, eating cereal.

"Hey girl," she says, and you smile while Jimin lets go of your hand.

"I didn't expect you to be up," you say, but she smiles, looking like she ate shit.

" I think I have to put the bottles down for a while." Her gaze lingers on Jimin for a while. You laugh, and Jimin grabs his shoes.

"I'm heading to class. I'll see you later, baby." Jimin kisses your lips, and you smile. "See you," you respond, and he goes out the door.

"Ew," Lena says, and she rolls her eyes. "What?" You ask, and she stares at you with a condescending look.

"He just so... I don't know. I don't like him for you." You roll your eyes, taking your coffee back into your bedroom.

"Catch a dick, Lena," you say before shutting your door to complete homework before class.

You sit in the library; it's late. It's about 9:30, but you want to make sure you have everything memorized for your post-exam this Friday.

You see a shadow leaning over you, and you smile at the thought of Jimin finding you to take you out to eat. I raise my head with a smile, but you stare into the eyes of Jeon Jungkook.

Fuck

"Don't you think it's too late to be in a book, baby?" He said his eyes were dark with anticipations. "No, and don't call me that." You're flustered by his words.

He shrugs and pulls the seat out next to you. "Want me to take you home?"

No is your immediate response in your head.

But you sit in silence for a while before answering.

"Aren't you supposed to be at Renji's party" he shakes his head.

"You look so pretty these days."

"Stop," you say, moving to grab your stuff.

"Renji’s party is not where I want to be right now." You shake your head. Walking up out of the library.

"Jungkook, you don't give me at least a bit of peace of mind." He pulls you onto a nearby bench outside.

"I want to talk to you, please. No funny business; we're friends, right?" You look at him and his stupid gaze.

"You have 5 minutes; I'm tired."

"I miss you. I miss you so damn much, baby. I know I'm an asshole. But I hate sleeping alone. Fuck it, I hate sleeping without you. Yeah, it took me to see you with that Jimmy asshole to realize it. But please, I'm trying here." You shake your head at his unwanted confession.

"Jungkook, that's your problem. You tell me these things when I don't want them. And it’s Jimin " You get up. Pacing back and forth.

He stands with you. "But I'm telling you now, baby, please!" You look at him, confused. He really can't understand it, can he?

"Why couldn't you say this when we were sleeping together, huh?" You are yelling now. Infuriated at his audacity.

"Because I'm an asshole, I know, and it took me too long to realize that all I want is you!" You laugh in his face.

"You didn't even give me a chance to save us. You just ended it!"

"You broke up with me!"

"Now I didn't; you asked me if I wanted this, and I said I don't know."

"Sounds like you didn't want it, and you were avoiding me for days!" You nodded, agreeing because it's true you weren't doing it to be a bitch. You were looking for time.

"I was waiting to tell you that I wanted to be with you! You fucking prick. You're so full of fucking shit. I wanted you, Jungkook, every time you just left. All you had to do was hold me after fucking my brains out and stay a bit after. I wanted your affection!"

"I gave you all the affection you wanted, and you look content. Why didn't you speak to me about it?"

"Because you never have time! You're always doing something after! Always...always running away."

You give up. You start walking off.

Jungkook charges behind you. Wrapping his arms around your waist. "Baby." You try to yank yourself out of his hold. But can't, you feel the waterworks coming?

"Please, I need you. I need you so damn much. Please. ____"

"You're an asshole."

"I know"

"You don't deserve me."

"I know"

"I fucking hate you, Jeon Jungkook."

"Please, baby, don't say that to me. You're breaking my heart."

You might look like a psychopath, but you start yelling at the top of your lungs, telling him to let you go.

"Let go of me!" You start wailing your hands and legs around like a five-year-old.

"AH!" You scream, jumping and moving Jungkook with you. It's the dead of night, and you're causing a scene. Just get away from Jungkook.

"Please let go!"

"Help me," you said, pinching Jungkook's arm, and he grunted, finally giving up.

Jungkook drops his arms and stares at you in shock, and you run away, heading to your apartment building.

You run upstairs and lock the door behind you. You look out your bay window to see if he's followed you on his motorcycle. He hasn't, so you calm down.

You throw your bag on the floor and head to bed. You don't even bother to brush your teeth; you flop on your bed.

~

You hear stomping and laughing in the kitchen, and it startles you out of your sleep. You get up accidentally knocking your metal water jug off your nightstand.

You crack your door open to see Jimin and Lena standing on the opposite side of the kitchen. "Hey g-girl," Lena says, and Jimin rushes to the trash can, throwing up whatever he drank. You rush to him. Patting his back as he lets it out.

"It's okay; let's get you to bed, babe." Jimin sits next to the trash can, and he is crying. Lena's eyes are wide open.

"Y/N! I'm sorry!" He starts screaming, his strained, raspy voice echoing through the apartment.

"I don't deserve you; I messed up. We fuc-"

"He's drunk; you should get him to bed," Lena says, but he continues.

"No, I don't want to keep feeling like shit. I'm sorry, please. Forgive me, I'll be better!" Jimin's eyes cross between you and Lena.

"What is he talking about?" You stand, and Lena is pale.

"Lena?" You are half asleep, and your boyfriend is screaming and crying as if his life depended on it.

"I don't fucking know! What the hell are you asking me for? He's having a mental breakdown, and you're asking me?" You put your hand in her face, and you drag Jimin to your room.

You're tired, and you'll figure this out in the morning.

~

Jungkook was confused when you went through your little tantrum. He honestly wanted to shut you up with a kiss and drag you back to his car. Bend you over in his backseat and fuck all this we're friends nonchalant bullshit you guys got going on out of you.

But instead, he went to the place where you expected him to be. Getting drunk and fucking girls that aren't you at this bitch ass party.

Minus the fucking bitches' part, Jungkook was standing in the corner like a wallflower, staring at Jimin and Lena violently grinding on each other in front of half the school.

Jungkook smiles at the scene. Think about how you traded him, who was a dick, for a public cheating asshole.

Ridiculous, he thinks as he drinks out of his beer until he feels a hand on his shoulder. Haesol appears in his view.

She has been chasing for, who knows, how fucking long. He gives a dissatisfied look. "You look lonely." Jungkook nods, ignoring her.

"I heard that you and that bitch, Y/N, broke it off." Jungkook looks at her, his face stoned as a rock.

"What do you want?" She cups his chest. As she leans up to him. "You, I heard you a god at it, and I want to go to heaven." She smiled so hard, and Jungkook choked on his drink. He starts laughing frantically.

"Oh yeah, you want to go to heaven." She nods, her hand sliding down to cup his cock. "Good girls go to heaven, not sour pussy bitches that have fucked their whole campus and are trying to pounce on anyone and anything. Get your hand off my dick, you weirdo." Her face drops, and Jungkook walks away, swiping against his chest where she touches him.

"Now I have to go change my pants because Haesol is trying to give me chlamydia!" He yelled for everyone to hear. People freeze, turning to haesol.

"Bro, she got chlamydia; I fucked you yesterday," some guy yells. A loud wave of Oh's sound filled the party, with girls laughing and some cheering.

It's a frat party, so obviously some are going to get embarrassed. Jungkook just took the chance and ran with it.

"Who got chlamydia? We don't need no cornstarch pussy bitches spearing that shit," Hanuel, the host, aka Reni's brother, yells, and everybody points to Haesol, who is still standing in the same spot.

"Get the fuck out; what are you even doing here? Go sit at the doctor." The party brushes into cheering, and Jungkook laughs.

"Get the fuck out!" Hanuel starts chanting, and people join. Jungkook takes his leave and gets on his bike, heading home. He caused enough of a ruckus tonight.

But the only home he wants to go to is yours. You are his home. He made his bed, and he wants to sleep in it with you.

~

You take some Tylenol and walk out of your apartment. You make it to your class, pulling out your notes. Two girls behind are gossiping about the party last night rather loudly.

"Oh my gosh, did you hear about Haesol?"

"No, what happened?" You try to tune out the conversation until a familiar name pops up.

"Jungkook exposed her for having chlamydia, and she got kicked out of the party in front of everyone." Your jaw drops at the news.

A few seconds later, Haesol entered the class, and the girls shut up. She sits next to you, and you give her a slight smile. She nods her head.

"Can I speak to you after class, please?" she says in a whisper. You nod your head, and she smiles. The professor comes in, and class starts.

After class, you and Haesol walk to the local coffee shop. "I don't know if you heard about what happened to me and Jungkook last night. But I just wanted to tell you we didn't sleep together." You nod your head.

"I heard a bit, but why are you telling me we aren't together?" she nods.

"I know I was walking to the party and saw you too fighting outside of the library. I knew you weren't together because of what I heard. He looked mad and wondered if he wanted to blow off some steam. " You nod your head, kind of embarrassed that she heard you fighting with Jungkook.

"In reality, I just wanted to warn you, even if you do get together with him. Can you please tell him to tell everyone that I don't have that shit?" ?

"I'll try to talk to him, but we aren't on the best terms right now. Plus, you can always prove that stuff yourself," you shrug.

"Oh yeah, how," she says passive-aggressively as you look at her. "Go to the doctor, and you post your results on Instagram. Easy. To anyone who wants to taste the truth, you are simple enough to let them have a taste," you argue back, and she rolls her eyes.

“Could’ve just called me a whore”

“Whore”

"Whatever, plus you'd be stupid if you were to get back together with that asshole."

"Trust me, that's not a bridge I want to cross again." You are taking your coffee.

"Sorry for what happened to you," she says, waving her hand. " I was kind of looking for it." She smiles, but you can tell that she is hurt about the whole situation.

"Anyways we aren't together; I'm with Jimin." She turns her head.

"Jimin? Park Jimin?

"Yeah, if you fucked him, good for you, Haesol." She flicks you off but turns serious.

"Really, but last night."

"Y/N!" Jungkook storms up next to you, pulling you out of your chair. You drag yourself away from Haesol.

"Jungkook, what the hell?" You yank your hand away from him.

"Baby, what are you doing with her? She's fucking weird!" Jungkook yells in earshot of Haesol. You look at her, and she's already collecting her stuff and running off.

You turn to Jungkook, you don't think, and you smack him across the face. "The only one who is acting weird and crazy here is you; you tore that girl apart." Jungkook rubs his hand against his face.

"Leave me alone. I never want to see you again." Jungkook falls to his knees.

"No, please." He pleads at your legs.

"Let go of me." You try to kick him off.

"No, I can't live without you; I can't—I-ple—I just can." He stuttered like crazy, and his face was pale.

You look at him, gasping for air. He grips his chest. You get worried and move down to him. "Hey, it's okay. Calm down." You take his face, making sure he looks at you.

"Jungkook, breath. You're having a panic attack." He nods, and you hug him. Bringing your chest to his, you can feel his heart beating as if it were to explode.

" Breath with me, Koo, yeah." You start to take deep breaths, and he later follows. His heart calmed down. You tap his shoulders as you breathe. Jungkook hugs you to his body.

"Please let me try again." silence

"Please just stay for a while."

"Let's get you home, Koo." You stand up together, taking his hand in yours, and walk to his apartment.

The walk is silent; you just breathe through your nose, starting at the ground and checking on Jungkook every few minutes. He starts in the distance.

Making it up to his house, you take off your shoes. He does the same, and he sits on his couch, sighing.

You look around. It's been months since you've been here. The place feels familiar; it smells the same and looks the same. Nothing has changed.

You stand behind the couch, the kitchen island pressing into your lower half.

"Marco?" Jungkook says to you, Smile at the silly game.

"Polo" Jungkook stands, coming towards you. His hands are on your face. He digs his nose into the slope of your neck. Smelling you. Damn, he's missed that smell. The smell of you. You in his space.

Our space

He takes your face in his hand. " What have I ever done for you to hate me so much?" You try to push him away. But he holds you tighter, his grip firm. "I don't hate you," you whisper, his breath warm against your skin. "I love you."

"Jungkook, don't " you threaten. But he just chuckles, his eyes filled with sincerity. "I mean it," he says softly. "I love you more than anything." You feel your heart race as you realize the depth of his feelings for you.

He laughs, "Just one kiss, please " You start pushing him off of you, and Jungkook shuts you up by kissing you. It's so deep, you want to scream in his mouth. You bite down on his lower lip. He groans, but he turns you over, slamming you against the island. He flips your dress up. You feel a rush of fire as he presses his body against yours, his hands exploring every inch of your skin. Jungkook whispers in your ear, "I can't get enough of you." The intensity of the moment leaves you breathless, lost in the darkness between you two.

"Jungkook-ah" Jungkook's finger finds your cunt, and you are surprisingly wet. "Please," you beg, unable to contain the overwhelming feeling that consumes you. Your cunt clenching over nothing. Jungkook smirks before giving you what you want, his touch sending shivers down your spine. You moan, but damn, you missed this. "Just shut up. I need you right now, please " His fingers brush past your spot, lightly cursing around the fabric of your underwear covering your pussy. His voice is low and husky, sending a wave of pleasure through your body. You can't help but arch your back, craving more of his touch as he teases you with a wicked grin. His eyes darken as he slowly slides your underwear off, his gaze never leaving yours. You feel a rush of anticipation as his fingers finally contact your bare skin, sending a wave of warmth through your body.

"Fuck, babe, I need you." Silence

“Jungkook”

Jungkook plays with the hem of your underwear as his finger plays with your wetness, a slow and lengthy finger massaging its way into your core. His touch ignites a fire within you, causing your breath to hitch in your throat. The intensity of his gaze locks you in place, completely under his spell. You can feel the heat building between you; the tension is palpable as he leans in closer, his lips brushing against your ear. His whispered words send shivers down your spine, making you ache for more of his touch. Jungkook's presence overwhelms your senses, leaving you craving every moment of pleasure he has to offer.

"Fuck this," Jungkook says before he plunges into you. His fingers are hard and fast. Your cunt is clenching around his fingers. "Always think about yourself," you say. Your face hits the cold granite. His movements are rough and urgent, sending waves of pleasure through your body. The intensity of the moment leaves you wanting more than his finger deep inside you. Lost in a whirlwind of desire and ecstasy.

"Yeah, maybe. What are you going to do, huh?" Your core is burning, and white heat is flowing through your body. You are so mad and wet. But damn, is he taking you right now on his fingers. His thumb rolls over your nub, and you moan loudly.

"J-Jungkook, what about Jim-?"

"Fuck that bitch; he doesn't deserve you. And that girl you live with” you turn, looking at him.

"W-what?" You stare at him. He plants his head on your back. Kissing down your spine. Jungkook fingers his hand deeper than before, and he grips your chest.

"Nothing." You moan as he moves to your nipples. Sucking and pulling at the hard point. "No, no, you are lying," you say, shaking your head. He smirks against your skin, his fingers moving faster inside you. "I'm not lying, baby. You deserve so much better." You feel a mixture of pleasure and confusion as his words sink in, and the intense touch overwhelms your sensitive clit.

There is no way you picked another shitty dude. Jungkook kneels, meeting your sopping cunt. "Forget him; we'll worry about it later." His tongue meets your soaking pussy, his tongue licking you up and down.

He moves fast, sinking into you. You're a fucking mess, but you take it. You're already here. You start grinding on his face. He moans under you. Your hands are in his hair. You ride his face, and Jungkook grips your ass. Moving his tongue across your pallet.

Standing up, turn your chest toward him. You pull him up by his hair, yanking his sweats off. "Please," you whine. Jungkook does just that. Entering your heat. You both moan at the sensation. "Fuck, I missed this," he says, picking you up from the floor, your legs wrapping around his waist. His thrusts are deep and intense, causing you to lose yourself in pleasure. You cling to him as he carries you, continuing to explore each other's desires with fervor. He carries you to the nearest surface, still inside you, and continues to thrust deeply. The intensity of the moment overwhelms both of you as you cling to each other.

He bottoms out, fucking you into oblivion. "Forgive me, baby; I'll treat you better, please. I can't live without you." You moan as he slows down, caressing your face.

"Please, baby, please." You nod. He kisses you with his tongue, exploring your mouth.

"Baby, answer," you whimper, your brain not making up any words at the moment. Jungkook pumps his dick into you. You think about him and your relationship. And how are you cheating on Jimin right now? But you don't feel bad. You know deep in your heart. It belongs to Jungkook. You feel a mix of guilt and desire, torn between two lovers. But in this moment, all you can focus on is the intense pleasure Jungkook is giving you. Your mind drifts away from any thoughts of Jimin as you give yourself fully to Jungkook's touch.

"No"

"Why? You think that asshole Jimin is better?" He thrust hard at the sound of Jimin's name. Smacking your ass against his hand. Jungkook puts you down. Turning you around, he slips his cock into you as he chokes you, staring in the mirror across the kitchen. He looks at his mess, which is you. Your hair looks crazy because of his grip and the mascara running down your cheeks. Your face is a bit washed out, too. But he pushes into your heat. Thrust into you again. And millions of times over again. Your body responds eagerly to his every move, craving more of his touch. Jungkook's intensity only adds to the pleasure, making you lose yourself in the moment. You moan his name, feeling the intensity of his desire for you. Jungkook's hands grip your hips tightly as he continues to move inside you with a primal need. Your body responds eagerly to his every touch. His grip tightens as he whispers, "You're mine, not his." Jungkook's eyes darken with possessiveness as he continues to dominate you, claiming you as his own in every way possible.

"No"

Your lip trembles as you start crying, tears fall on your face, and Jungkook's continued fucking you. You whimper, and you hold Jungkook tight, all the emotions slapping you in the face.

You feel your orgasm cresting, and you continue to fuck yourself. You moan his name, grinding against him. He hugs you tight. You both are in sync. Breathing out and looking at each other. He kisses you one final time.

"Be with me," he whispers.

"No, " you say, looking into his eyes.

"We can manage."

"No." You apply. He groans, slipping out of your heat.

You sigh, wiping away your tears. Then you get mad.

"Y/N" You pick up your stuff from the floor. Jungkook sighs, and you storm out of the house. Heading to your apartment.

You have walked up to your apartment, opened the door, and slammed it closed so hard that one of your paintings fell off the wall.

You sits on the bar stool, gripping your hair. Jungkook is just trying to get in your head.

Lena storms out of her room, relaxing when she sees you. She's half undressed, but then her face turns bright red, and she's trying to cover herself with the loose sheet wrapped around her body haphazardly.

You peer into her room seeing Jimin.

"Well, isn't this a view?" You push her out of the way, seeing Jimin in her bed. Fuming, you point to the door.

"Wait, wait, Y/N, please," she pleads beside you. She tries to grab your arm. "Lena, I swear to God that if you don't leave, I'll put you out," you threatened.

"Y/N, you can't do that; I live here."

"Not legally, your name isn't on my lease, and you haven't paid rent in months." Lena tries to reckon with you again, but you've heard enough.

"Y/N, just fucking listen." You turn.

"Just because you can't find happiness doesn't mean others can't be happy." You look at her, confused.

"Lena, you're the one ruining my happiness here. You slept with my boyfriend, you fucking bitch!"

"A boyfriend you didn't even like. You love to play the victim here”, but you turn, slapping her in the face. "Out." She starts crying at the blow as she kneels, begging for your forgiveness. You stare at Jimin, who's on the bed, as calm as he can be.

You pick up his clothes from the floor, launching them outside the apartment. "Hey, what the fuck?" He yells, but you don't listen. You go to your room, remove the whole damn drawer of stuff that belongs to him, and chuck it out the door. You see red, and you're not thinking about what you're doing, and this probably looks psychotic.

Jimin follows you into the room, takes your wrist, and pins you against the wall. "Stop acting crazy; just tell lies." SMACK You push him away, dragging Lena out of your house. Throwing her out in the hallway, not caring if she's naked or her clothes are outside, she can figure that out by herself.

The same goes for him and his car keys, and you close your door.

~

You stand in your apartment as movers take Lena's stuff. It's been 3 days since your fight, and she doesn't dare step foot in the house. You heard that she was moving in with Jimin. You could care less.

You see his car park outside the window.

The movers take her bed and everything she's bought. Eight years of friendship are gone. Yeah, for men you didn't even like, but still. You walk out of your apartment, standing in front of Lena.

She points her head down, and you roll your eyes.

"You own me" she looks up.

"For what?"

"You haven't paid me rent in six months. So, I can either sue you, and you will have to pay a lawyer court fee, and me. Or you can just owe me." Tears fall from her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I don't know where this all went wrong."

"I didn't even like him; you knew that. I was trying to fix myself. Yeah, being with someone in the midst of a breakup is crazy, but I did that. For me, myself. I wanted to love him. I did. I tried. I tried hard. But it's difficult when a brick wall is in the middle of the way." Lena breaks down in tears, and you kind of feel bad.

"Look, I love you. But he’s just something; I'm sorry if I hurt you; it was just a lot." You nod at her response.

"I won't forgive you now, but hopefully one day we can acquaint ourselves."

She nods, wiping her tears and looking at me.

"I'll try to make it last; if he breaks up with me in two weeks, I'll be fucked," she laughs a bit. You didn't crack a smile.

"Gotta fight your own battles, sweetie."

The movers are finally done, so you walk back into your apartment, closing the door. Starting in the empty room.

You are sitting in your living room, staring at the blank white wall next to your TV, and the Love is Blind episode is being ignored. Your food from earlier forgotten on the coffee table.

A soft knock at the door breaks your daydream. You get up, open the door, and Jungkook stands on the other side.

"Hi," he says with a smile. You focus on him. Your eyes begin to water when you see him. You manage to say, "Hey, Jungkook," while fighting back tears. He enters and gives you a reassuring hug, sensing the feelings you are experiencing at that precise moment.

As he holds you close, you whisper, "I missed you," and a wave of relief washes over you. Jungkook leans back a little and gives you a comforting smile as he looks into your eyes. He whispers, "I missed you too," and then gently wipes away the tears that had begun to fall.

With a sincere tone, he says, "I'm here now, I swear." Grateful for his presence, you cling to him tightly and experience a wave of peace.

With his warmth enveloping you in a consoling embrace, Jungkook draws you in closer. "He whispers, 'I love you,' and plants a kiss on your forehead.

Your soul is soothed, and any fears or worries that may have been lingering in your heart are eased by Jungkook's love and comfort. Knowing that you are genuinely loved and cared for right now causes you to feel at ease. The presence of Jungkook serves as a constant reminder that you are never alone and that maybe.

"Can we try again? I'll be better; I'll be the best." You laugh in his chest and feel a sense of peace wash over you like a warm blanket.

"Yes." Jungkook hugs you tighter, his arms large and tight around your body. "Jungkook, kiss me." His lips meet yours in a gentle yet passionate kiss, sealing your decision to give love another chance. The warmth of his embrace and the softness of his touch reassure you that this time, things will be different. You wrap your fingers through its soft hair as you two move back into the wall.

Jungkook grauts, and you feel his hard bulge against your thigh. Jungkook grinds his body into yours, and you smile at him. "Eager," you say, smiling, and Jungkook lands a passing kiss on your lips. “Very much so” Jungkook's hands are running across your body as the air starts to get thicker, and Jungkook's cock pokes you harder. He lets out a hard sigh. "I need you so bad right now, baby." You feel a surge of hunger as Jungkook's words send shivers down your spine.

With a hungry look in his eyes, he whispers, "I want you more than anything." You run your hands up and down his torso, your hands running the length of his body, feeling the warmth and strength of his muscles beneath your fingertips. " Let's make it right this time; I don't want to rush this." Jungkook breathed into you as he spoke softly, his warm breath tickling your skin. You take his hand, leading him into your bedroom.

You two are walking past the old, empty bedroom. Jungkook stopped in his tracks, peering inside. " I kicked her out. I don't do betrayal."Jungkook looks at you, the silken defying, then grabs your wrist. " I didn't know for long; I found out while I went to Renji's party." Jungkook starts to leave wet kisses on your neck.

You hum in satisfaction. "The same party that you insulted that girl at?" Jungkook hums. "Yeah, but she was assaulting me tho; that fucking Werido was rubbing on my dick mid-crowd; she knew what she was doing." You couldn't help but get turned on by Jungkook's possessive behavior.

You laugh and you kiss him, your tongues brushing. As you pull away, Jungkook's eyes darken with desire, and he whispers, "You're mine, always." His possessiveness ignited a fire within you, making you crave more of his attention and affection. You are lucky to have him back, protective and devoted to you.

"Baby, I’m so happy," Jungkook pulls away for a second, his heart feeling heavy for a second, before he smiles and pulls you back into his arms, whispering sweet promises of forever. "You make me feel complete," Jungkook murmurs, his voice filled with sincerity. His words resonate deep within your heart.

His embrace is a safe haven, a place where you feel truly cherished and valued. With Jungkook by your side, you know that you are loved unconditionally.

You close the distance, taking him into your arms to pull him against your chest. You are still standing your knees hitting the back of the bed. Nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck so you could kiss him. You rub your left hand against his cock while tracing the bridge of his nose with your pointer finger. A touch, as it contains a kind of relief that can ease Jungkook's tension in any way. With his eyes closed, Jungkook lets out a sigh of relief.

“Put me to bed, and stay in it this time?”

He's planting a kiss on you. A kiss to stay all the nights need. You were whimpering, and Jungkook put his fingers behind your head and pressed his lips into a deeper kiss. You sit on the bed, Jungkook now kneeling in-front of you He's giving you another kiss. He's coming to terms with the fact that he's back with you. Looking for your taste, he draws you in closer while putting his arms around your head. You open your mouth, meeting his begging tongue, and run your fingers through his silky hair.

His left hand is cuddling your face, his hand is reaching as far into your body as your hand will allow, he squeezes your nipple playing with the harden bud. The tension from you body witting. He grunts into a kiss as his body craves your contact, claiming your lips once more.

You two are only separated, but the thin layers of clothes but you can still feel everything coming in contract with body. From yours to Jungkook’s, Jungkook moves away and peels his clothes off. You looking at his toned body and the sleeve of tattoos.

Your clothing comes next. He pulls your shirt open, putting his arm under it. Gently, he takes you in his hand and, as his hand slides up and under your shirt, you press against him. He shudders. You are wearing nothing underneath, and he can sense how warm it is beneath your breast.

He needs you to be so much closer than you are right now as he grabs the bundle of fabric and twists. You rise from the bed to the point where you can remove your shirt. You toss it aside and collapse once more.

After cradling you against his chest and moaning, "So pretty, baby, so soft," Jungkook says. His right hand rests on the back of your head, supporting it while he buries his face in the curve of your neck.

You savor the moment, feeling his warmth and comfort enveloping you. Jungkook's embrace is like coming home after a long journey, making you feel safe and loved. It was so long that your skin unintentionally began to forget his warmth and tenderness.

You mumble, putting your fingers deep in his hair, "I missed you. " You draw him in closer. The pressure of your breasts on his chest is like nothing else. Jungkook keeps his arms wrapped around you and obeys. You approach him and reach out to touch his length.

He lets out a shaky grunt as you run your fingertips over his covered tip. A little mown falls out his lips next. You smile at the sound, knowing you have him right where you want him to be. With a mischievous glint in your eye, you whisper, "I'm going to make sure you never forget me again."

When Jungkook's left hand comes your clit, it naturally goes down your body. To let him in deeper you wrap your leg around his waist. His fingertips sink into your heat, sending lightning through you. "Shit," you mutter as you move away. You grasp his cock and begin stroking it. He grows hard and swiftly.

Similar to how you immediately get his fingertips wet with your essence. You swiftly wrap your fingers around his cock. Your touches are genuine and driven solely by desperation; they are not well coordinated.

With a sigh, Jungkook leans back, and you plant a soft kiss on his lips. Tiny touches, tongue traces, and tingling groans. There is an intolerable amount of tension between you and him. As you tighten your grip on his cock , you stroke him faster.

Your hip is gripped by Jungkook. Sweat is dripping off his skin. As you both give in to your intense need for one another, desire permeates the air. With his fingers sinking into your flesh, Jungkook breathes your name, his breath catching as he does so.

Every touch, every gasp, and every second spent together strengthens the bond between you two. It's just another piece of evidence that the two of you have finally reconnected. “You feel so good," he salutes and shimmys down a bit to get his cock inside. There is no friction, no pain, and no effort. Just bliss and warmth. You savage him with a "holy fuck" as you get closer, beyond your entrance. Your cozy walls surround him. You lay on the on the bed, Jungkook’s body’s towering over yours

This is how deep his thrusts go, and your leg is around him. It seems like you're overflowing with him. Your motions and his are in perfect harmony, producing a rhythm that almost feels natural.

You approach him by his hair and give him a shake while remarking, "Jungkook, you are so good." The darkness intensifies the moment as you kiss his lips and give him a deep tongue kiss. Its sounds become part of the chaotic rutting of your hips. The flutter of the sheets and your own constant, desperation-filled groans are audible to you both. The world disappears at that instant, On the areas where you’ve meet together, sweat has collected. Despite you body being slick from the sweat you pull each other closer as you enjoy the warmth. There is no other way for us to melt together. "I love you." Jungkook whispers in your ear, his voice filled with sincerity and passion. The moment is pure and raw, a testament to the love that burns between you both.

"I love you too" in between your mouthfuls of saliva, but Jungkook is aware of it all. He would know even if words were not used. from the way your pussy is writhing around him your walls and his cock brushing past each other. "You feel so good," you moan and rut against him before your lips suck on his lower lip needily.

“Yeah baby, gunna come for me?”

Jungkook moans and grunts into your ear. He feels his legs tremble as he fucks into you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck”

Furthermore, you are famished. You fuck against Jungkook as hard as you can, and he fucks you as hard as he can. This leads to these intense, flaming thrusts that fill you to the brim with his cock and make you feel every inch of your pussy in return.

Jungkook is gasping for breath in between his frantic groans. You're drenched with wetness, too. There is an undeniable, primitive energy between the two. Jungkook’s cocks is kissing your spot and you feel the white hot heat moves through your tummy.

“Cum inside” Jungkook tugs you in closer while giving you a back scratch. His left hand stills your hips cupping your ass. You can't help but arch into him when he touches you; his passionate passion sends thrills down your spine. You feel your orgasm hitting you and you arch you back up into him. “Yeah baby cum on my dick”

You rolls over onto your stomach Jungkook slipping out of you momentarily. You gain the strength to carry your self lower body onto your knees. Jungkook follows rubbing his cock along your pussy. Jungkook slips back into his legs burning at the intense thrusting but he can fell his orgasm coming to life. The burning heat traveling up his cock

The other leg is bearing down on him, as he penetrates you, you can feel his toned thighs change and tighten. He makes clumsy thrusts that are so flawlessly disorganized that they appear synchronized. It makes the mattress rock.

Because he is now fucking your senses to death, you hardly notice it. This type of fuck serves as a reminder of how he captured your heart and demonstrates why you could never want to be apart from him.

With a groan, Jungkook rests his head on the bend of your neck. He draws you in until his front is on you back. Your knees dropping down to the mattress. Jungkook brings his arm around your neck. Leaving you in a soft headlock as he grained out your and his high.

"Fuck baby" Jungkook exits and gives your neck a hard squeeze as your body feels euphoric. You feel so close to him, pulsating and scorching. He still needs it for a longer time. Even when you are already coming down, he isn't done. He doesn't know if he is holding back because he is avaricious for more or if his body is simply functioning this way at the moment. He requires more. He desires that you remain longer.

Just a bit longer

But a it’s was shot to shit. Few moments later you’re cumming around him your cunt clenching rapidly and Jungkook’s cum inside of you. The long ropes of cum shot so deep inside you fell light headed after.

Jungkook stays in his position for a while letting his body cool down. He places a kiss on you ear.

“We’re doing this again”

“Wha…” you half ass asleep, but Jungkook rolls you over. Moving down to your pussy that leaks out his cum all over the like pink sheets.

“Gotta clean you up” he opens you legs licking long strokes up you cunt. You hum in satisfaction. After a bit. Jungkook positions himself at your entrance. His cock rock solid again.

“I thought you were cleaning me up?”

Jungkook smiles and kisses you check you eye closed as you pumps inside you.

“Well I changed my mind”

“Asshole” you smile, and Jungkook fucks you till you can’t even speak words.

Epoliuge.

"Jungkook, please, this isn’t the time for this." Though you came here on your own initiative and are now bent over in a cornfield, Jungkook was the one with the great idea to get in a mid-field fuck.

You grabbing onto a bench near by and Jungkook pounds into your pussy. The erotic sounds loud in the quiet field away from all the people. Jungkoook fucks you hard and rough not letting you catch at break at any moment.

“You want to keep yelling at me? Now look at you, getting fucked in a field” Jungkook pulls out, his cock pulsating. You try to stand up breath for the first time in 7 minutes but no.

Jungkook positions you downward again. Smacking your ass. You yelp and the sting. With a groan, "Not finished yet," he grabs your head by your hair. Jungkook sliding a his finger against you other hole. You moan, thinking about what his planning .

“What did I tell I’d about you attitude?” You wince not wanting to respond. Jungkook smacks your ass harder. “I asked you a question?”

He always grits his teeth and scowls after a hard fuck, so you can be sure he's doing it now. Ju-Ju-Jungkook" uses a name to trick you. The precise areas that are robbing you of your sanity are where he is pressing his cock into. . "Jungkook! I'm going."

"To cum, go ahead.".

"No, not that"

"baby girl, are you gunna?."

You cling to his arm. He drills you like an animal, into your ass. You scream but Jungkook covers your mouth. You cum, and you juices spill out of you. The mess leaking into the ground.

He fucks you deep into the earth, just as he fucks you deep into a fuzzy state of happiness. Nothing he told you would make sense to you right now. You drool escaping your mouth as Jungkook draws his final breath. Instead, you cry his name while writhing in despair.

Jungkook spits and grunts, "Fuck." He stutters a little in his hips. With a relentless hammering that sends your body into another orgasm, he asks if you "have to go again."

Your voice gave up on you before you could get his name out. You could not breathe either, kneels there on your front, your back relaxed and your mouth parted as Jungkook tore heaven from you. His cock hurts, his balls feel constricted, and the knot in his stomach is becoming worse. He takes a big breath, lets it out through his lips, and lies down. his head in the hollow of your neck.

With a high-pitched moan, he says, "I'm going to cum inside." He falters in his hips but does not slow down. He says in a whisper, "This ass is so damn tight; better not complain if I start fucking it more than your pussy," and keeps pushing. You close your eyes while keeping your right hand on his rigid arm. The need to feel him paint your walls won't go away.

With a tearful "I love you," he lets go. He doesn't stay silent the way you did. He's a noisy person. After a little while, you told him to shut thd fuck up. He was now sucking on your neck.

Jungkook paints you white till his body gives up on him and the paint runs out. The drop is sharp. Even when he finished, Jungkook continued to screw you, so you were never able to calm down. He also feels the need for your hug since he fucked himself so badly that it almost destroyed his damn self.

"So tired," but Jungkook smacks your ass gently as he stands up. Pulling your white dress down and draws your panties up. Even if he pulls you up, you fall back to the ground violently.

"Are you okay? Was I too rough?" He speaks but you don’t even listen. As he attempts to find a way out of the awful field, Jungkook carries you on his back.

You stated to argue with Jungkook when he told you for the one hundredth time that you two were lost in a field of corn.

Which is why you are now being carried out of here folded up like a lawn chair

🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮

Hope this cured your hearts

This is the version on my notes because I posted this by accident so if you read it again this one is a bit different then first version of this mess

𝗧𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁🝮 @cassies-cookies @httpjeonlicious @7thsthings @oopscoop @hoseokteardrop @chxhoneyyxx

[thewosoway]

Missed you - Lena Oberndorf x reader

* based off of the video from the olympics of Lena showing up to the hotel to support germany*

With Lena injured you became the one who cared for her aside from her parents obviously. That was until you needed to go to France with the German team to play in the Olympics. You had sat together and thought about how you could support her from France, deciding on multiple FaceTimes and matching bracelets you had made together so you would always feel connected with them.

Lena made it obvious that she wouldn’t be able to come because of rehab and you had become ok with the idea of going alone and hanging out with other players like Jule and Lea instead of Lena.

Before the USA game you had been spending the day going around with Laura, taking pictures of random things and the team. After the pictures you both decided to go sit in the chill room of the hotel and play a card game while watching a movie.

Around half way through the card game you got up and told Laura you needed the bathroom and then you were going to come back and finish the game. She nodded and off you went, passing through the lobby on your phone unaware of the car having just pulled up containing your girlfriend.

Lea saw you walking past and panicked you were going to see what was happening and ruin the surprise. You kept your head down while sending Lena a message asking how she was feeling and that you were worried about her. Lea sent a quick text to Alex popp asking her to distract you and walk you back to the chill room the other way not through the lobby.

Coming out of the bathroom Alex was stood there waiting for you. “Hey y/n, just wanted to come find you and have a little prematch chat” you nodded and went with her talking about how you felt about the match and different things.

Lena had gone with Lea to the chill room where you were originally and sat down on some beanbags at the back of the room, out of sight from the door and where you were sat with Laura.

You walked in finishing your conversation and gently throwing a breakfast bar at Laura that you had picked up on your entry before sitting down in your previous spot and continuing the game. Completely oblivious to your girlfriend watching patiently at the back of the room.

Laura decided to start a conversation about Lena and how her recovery was going, talking about her and other things.

“I love Lena with all my heart and this knee issue is just a minor setback for her. Shes doing good with recovery so far, I just miss her so much. She gets a little annoyed at my constant hovering around her since she got hurt” a small laugh escaped as you talked about her small temper which showed itself more often on the pitch.

Lena sat at the back of the room listening to you talking about her and how her injury was affecting you but all around listening to you constantly repeating how you missed her. She watched as you and Laura stopped playing the card game and stood up going to the pool table while you typed at your phone sending her a message checking on her even though you just checked in, hearing a small cough to get your attention you looked up and in the direction of the sound.

“Lena?” She nodded and smiled “hi love” you dropped everything and ran to her. “What are you doing here?” Holding her close to you like she was going to disappear if you let go “thought id come see the girls play and support my favourite girl” she held you tight being careful of her knee

“I missed you” she kept hugging you and holding you close to her not letting you go. “When you guys are done I wanna play pool” Laura watched from her position at the pool table laughing slightly at her comment and Lena’s reaction of putting her middle finger up to her. “Just got my girl back.. fuck of Freigang” she mumbled into ur neck.

You held onto each other and stayed hugging for a moment before Lena started to get uncomfortable stood on her injured leg which you noticed and lead her to sit down on a beanbag so she could relax for a moment. “I love you Lena, I’m so happy you’re here with me as you should be. I missed you”

Lena made sure to keep you close like you were going to disappear and you would be apart again. You sat together cuddled into her side wrapped together talking to Lea and Laura before the rest of the team walked in to have a chill before the match and talk about tactics. It wasn’t until guilia looked over to the back of the room hearing voices in deep discussion “obi?” The team looked up from where they were stood and saw her with their jaws dropping as each of them looked up to see Lena sat with you half asleep in her arms just listening to her voice and her heartbeat happy to have her back and be in her arms.

[adascore]

Fouled Dreams | L. Oberdorf

pairings: lena oberdorf x dutch!reader (+ plays for bayern) / netherlands national team x reader / german national team x dutch!reader

warnings: netherlands losing. crying. swearing. changed some things about the match, but the result is the same. fouls. mentions of bruising and swelling.

author’s: been obsessed with her lately so just had to write something. writing about nations league losses have become my thing I fear :(

masterlist

•••••••

February, 2024

They'd know beforehand that this situation could happen, yet when both their teams lost in the semifinals, it was hard to grasp the reality that one needed to beat the other in order to go to the Olympics in Paris.

Herself and Lena had played plenty of times against each other, with both their respective clubs and national teams.

However, this felt different.

Their previous international meetings had merely been friendlies in preparations for other competitive events like the World Cup a year prior.

This was for a spot at the Olympics.

Y/N had been at the previous edition in Tokyo with the Dutch team, where they had stranded in the quarterfinals against the United States on penalties.

Lena had never played at the Olympic Games, something she greatly wanted to achieve with her German teammates.

Both teams also wanted to redeem themselves after disappointing World Cup exits.

There were many things at stake.

Of course, headlines and articles had been made about how the couple was going to go head-to-head in a very important match for both sides.

Prior to their arrivals at the stadium, they hadn't seen each other for a few weeks. Lena played for Wolfsburg, while Y/N was a striker for Bayern Munich.

Although, Lena's upcoming transfer to Bayern would assure they would only have to miss each other during international breaks.

The young footballers had gotten together about a year prior, all credit to Lynn, Dom and Jill who had played matchmakers.

The distance was difficult at first, but they eventually found a nice balance. It sounded cliche, but communication really is the key to a good relationship.

Y/N was strolling around the pitch with her teammates when the German team appeared in the tunnel.

She didn't notice her girlfriend at first, too occupied in a conversation with Andries and Sherida.

It was Lynn, who so ''sweetly'' screamed for her best friend to ''get her ass over here'' that got her to excuse herself from the discussion with her captain and coach.

''Echte uitslover jij, waar was je nou weer over aan het lullen met hen?'' (''You're a real teacher's pet, what were you bullshitting about this time with them?'') Lynn teased her as she approached her, Lena, Jule and Lea.

Y/N sarcastically smiled at her fellow Dutchwoman. ''Jouw dikke kop!'' (''Your big head!'') She retorted, with Lynn playfully giving her a shove afterwards.

Her eyes lit up once she spotted Lena. Despite the tension of the upcoming match, seeing her face brought a sense of comfort amidst the nerves.

''Hey, everyone.'' Y/N moved to embrace Lea and Jule first, their proximity making them the easiest targets for her initial greetings. She let out an awkward chuckle as she made eye contact with her girlfriend again, but went in for the hug as well.

''Missed you.'' Lena whispered softly, her arms wrapping around her partner's waist in a comforting hold.

''Missed you too.'' Y/N replied, her voice equally gentle.

Their embrace was brief, acutely aware of the prying eyes of the photographers stationed around the field. It wasn't that they were afraid of showing public displays of affection, it was more the discomfort that came with the knowledge that every moment captured on camera would be scrutinized and analyzed by the media and fans alike.

They were far from being a secret- their relationship was an open secret among their teammates and the wider football community. Yet, the constant surveillance felt suffocating at times. So, when they could help it, they kept the PDA to a minimum, opting for subtle gestures and fleeting touches that spoke volumes in their own right.

''My mum and dad are coming tonight.'' Y/N said to Lena, the pair quickly disassociated to their own small bubble.

The German grinned. ''Yeah? That's nice, haven't seen them in a while.'' She replied, her tone warm and genuine.

Y/N nodded, a sense of anticipation building within her at the thought of her parents' arrival. She had a good relationship with her family, they'd been supportive of her love of football from the moment she started and went to almost every game if they could.

''My mum did make a small sign for you, cause she thought you might get upset with her.'' She playfully rolled her eyes at the recalling of her mother sending her a picture of the small poster that said 'Go Lena!'.

Lena chuckled at the mention of her girlfriend's mother's thoughtful gesture, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. ''That's very sweet, I can't wait to see it in person.''

''She's probably gonna want to take a picture of you with it, so you're warned beforehand.'' Y/N laughed, knowing her mother wanted photos of everything and everyone.

''I'll be sure to smile extra wide for the camera then, like this.'' Lena pretended to grin very big, showing off her teeth.

Y/N burst into laughter at her exaggerated pose, her eyes crinkling with amusement. ''Perfect, Obi! Exactly what she wants for a heartwarming photo.'' She teased, mimicking Lena's antics.

''Hey, you two,'' Lynn interrupted their moment, the entire group staring at the couple, ''the loser sleeps on the couch or what?'' The Dutch defender laughed.

Her national teammate mockingly rolled her eyes. ''Lynno, we don't even live in the same place. Idioot dat je bent.'' (''Idiot you are.'') Y/N responded.

Lynn chuckled in response, waving off her friend's playful insult with a dismissive gesture. ''Details, details,'' she replied, a mischievous twinkle in her eye, ''just make sure you've got that couch ready, wherever it may be.''

''I'm sure she has chosen a nice place.'' Lena retorted, chiming in on the banter.

Y/N's mouth gaped dramatically, and her eyes widened, exaggerating her reaction to the playful exchange. ''Actually, since you like breaking ankles, you can just sleep on the floor.''

Lena raised an eyebrow in mock surprise at her girlfriend's response, which drew another round of laughter from the group. ''Oh, I see how it is,'' she teased, ''floor it is, then. I'll bring my sleeping bag.'' She accepted.

She threw her arm around Lena at the feigned sadness over having to bring a sleeping bag, her pout being too cute to not fawn over.

It was a nice moment to have with the group, temporarily forgetting an important match would have to be played a few hours later.

There was a mixed atmosphere in the tunnel as both teams started gathering in a line, familiarizing themselves with their small mascots, who were all looking up at the players with wide-eyed excitement.

The Netherlands' usual captain, Sherida Spitse, had been forced to withdraw from the starting lineup due to a last-minute injury sustained during the warm-up. In her absence, Y/N found herself unexpectedly thrust into the role of captain for the crucial match.

As she entered the tunnel, the weight of the captain's armband felt both familiar and foreign at the same time. While she had stepped into the role of captain before, it had always been in moments of crisis, when Sherida was substituted during a match and Y/N was hastily given the band by one of their teammates.

It was not only a great moment for her, it would be one for her family as well. Though they weren't particularly patriotic, knowing that their daughter had been chosen by the entire Dutch team to lead them out for such an important match filled them with a sense of pride and honor.

Her usual spot in the line would be at the back, next to Lena. It had become almost routine for them to have a small chat before their matches, even when they were with Bayern and Wolfsburg, they were always the last players to enter the stadium.

Y/N held the pennant in her hands tight as she approached her girlfriend, careful to not make a big deal out of it since they were already filming the players as they waited for the officials to walk out.

A small pat on her arm was enough to grab Lena's attention, the German turning her head before a small, but nervous, smile broke out on her face once she noticed who it was.

''Hey, Captain.'' She grinned, her eyes briefly glancing towards where the armband was comfortably wrapped around her partner's bicep.

Y/N smirked once she noticed, but didn't say anything about it. ''Hi,'' she softly said, ''good match, alright? And please, don't break my ankles.'' She teased.

''No promises.'' Lena chuckled, playfully raising her eyebrow.

They shared a final glance before the striker made her way to the front of the line-up, only to be stopped by Dominique. ''Ze gaat sowieso je enkel breken.'' (''No doubt she's going to break your ankle.'') The Dutch defender said, a mischievous look in her eyes.

''Ik weet het.'' (''I know.'') Y/N sighed.

''Dom was right.'' The captain muttered under her breath as she was yet again taking to the ground by one of the German defenders.

It hadn't even been close to half-time yet and the Bayern Munich player had been assaulted from all sides. Funny enough, none of the challenges had been made by Lena- so far at least.

Danielle helped her get up from the ground, quickly checking in. ''I'm fine, Daan.'' Y/N reassured the older player, wiping her knees clean.

The first half proved to be eventful, yet no goals had been made by either side. The goalkeepers were making amazing saves, but both teams had also missed serious chances at scoring the opening goal.

Despite being deployed in Sherida's position as a defensive midfielder, Y/N managed to make an impact in the attacking third. She found herself with two golden opportunities to break the deadlock, however, luck was not on her side as both strikes rattled off the woodwork, denying her the chance to put her team ahead.

The opening minute of the second half was marked by a somewhat surprising moment:

Lena fouled Y/N.

The referee blew the whistle, signaling the late challenge made by the midfielder. Y/N, with a dramatic flair, collapsed to the ground, clutching her leg in feigned agony.

Recognizing the playful nature of the moment, Lena quickly understood that she was only hamming it up for the sake of a breather for her teammates and to ruin the Germans' momentum. However, she still bent down beside her girlfriend.

''You shouldn't go into acting anytime soon.'' Lena chuckled, briefly letting her hand caress over the part that 'allegedly' hurt so bad.

The captain let out a small smile. ''That's mean, you should get a yellow card for descent.''

The midfielder's eyes sparked with amusement as she helped her back up to her feet. ''Maybe later.'' She quipped, playfully nudging her girlfriend's shoulder before they resumed their positions on the field.

It didn't take too long for the fun to be over as Klara put in the first goal of the night, which had been assisted by Lena. About 10 minutes later, another Bayern teammate put one in the back of the net as Lea also got herself on the scoresheet.

As the game wore on, Y/N became increasingly determined to make a difference on the field. However, despite her best efforts, none of her attempts seemed to find the back of the net. Her teammates were not clinical enough, or the shots were deflected by the German defenders.

The more attacks she created, the more aggressive the fouls of the German grew on her.

They seemed determined to shut down Y/N's advances by any means necessary, resorting to increasingly rough challenges to disrupt her rhythm.

She managed to keep the ball from Nüsken, and send a pass to Esmee when a German player made a reckless tackle from behind, catching her off guard. The force of the challenge sent her crashing to the ground, a sharp pain shooting through her ankle.

A wave of concern washed over the stadium and the Dutch team as they watched their most vital player of the evening being abruptly taken out by Giulia.

People close to her rushed to her side, including Giulia who didn't have the intention to actually hurt her Bayern teammate. The referee swiftly intervened, issuing a yellow card.

''Shit, I'm sorry- didn't time it well.'' The midfielder apologized immediately, knowing right away it wasn't a great or necessary challenge.

Y/N made a gesture with her hand, which translated to ''it's okay, just give me space now,'' which Giulia understood, the pair having a great relationship at Bayern.

Lynn was the first of her teammates to reach her, shouting profanities at Giulia and the referee for letting the fouls on her best friend get to the point where she needed the medical team.

''Alles goed, meid?'' (''Everything okay, girlie?'') The Wolfsburg defender asked, concern etched on her face.

''Ik denk dat me enkel er elk moment gaat afvallen.'' (''I think my ankle is going to fall off at any moment.'') She sarcastically replied, rolling her eyes.

Lynn chuckled at her friend's attempt at humor, though the worry still lingered in her eyes. ''Ik hoop van niet, we hebben die nog nodig.'' (''I hope it doesn't, we still need it.'').

Meanwhile, the medical team arrived, quickly assessing Y/N's ankle to determine the extent of the injury. The other players quickly backed off so the staff could work in peace.

Lena noticed her club teammate's concerned expression and approached her quietly. ''How's she doing?'' She asked softly, her eyes flickering toward Y/N, whose ankle was covered in bruises.

Lynn sighed, her hand smoothing down her hair. ''I think she's trying to make it out as if she isn't bothered by it, but it's obvious it hurts- look at it, completely blue.'' The Dutchwoman motioned towards where one of the physios was icing her foot.

The midfielder nodded. ''I hope it's nothing too serious.'' She observed the way her partner was hissing at the way the staff was assessing her ankle, visibly agitated by the pain. She wished she could do more to help, but all she could do for now was offer her support from the sidelines.

The Dutch team held their breath as Y/N gingerly tested her weight on her injured ankle, her expression a mix of determination and discomfort. Every eye on the sideline was fixed on her, silently praying that she would be able to continue.

''As soon as the match is done, you're coming with us to the medical room. I'm surprised you can walk still.'' Their physiotherapist ordered her, glancing down at her iced and taped up ankle.

Andries sent her a thumbs up, asking if she was okay to continue. However, Y/N knew they had used up all their substitutes so there would be no use in forfeiting the game, so she confirmed with a nod that she would carry on.

She could walk on her own to the side of the pitch, though there was a limp in her step. The striker carefully jogged onto the grass as the referee gave her permission to join the match again.

A few tense minutes later, the shrill sound of the referee's whistle pierced the air, signaling the end of the match.

Amidst the disappointment of the Dutch team, the German players erupted into jubilant celebrations. They hugged each other tightly, their faces beaming with joy and relief as they reveled in their hard-earned victory.

The Oranje Leeuwinnen on the pitch dejectedly gave each other hugs and consolations, most with tears in their eyes.

Y/N had lowered herself onto the ice-cold grass, the throbbing pain in her ankle too much to bear. She winced as she cautiously propped herself up against the turf.

She suddenly felt two pairs of arms slip beneath hers, lifting her gently off the ground. Startled, she looked up to see Esmee and Kerstin, their expressions filled with concern as they looked at their captain.

''Kom op, meid,'' (''Come on, girl,') Kerstin gently said, ''je was echt een beest op dat middenveld.'' (''You really were a beast in the midfield.'') The Manchester City player chuckled, trying to lighten up the somber mood.

Esmee nodded in agreement, her grip firm yet gentle as she supported Y/N's weight. The two youngsters guided her towards the waiting medical staff, who had been watching the scene unfold from the sidelines.

Some of their teammates and staff patted their heads and ruffled their hair as they walked across the pitch, offering words of sweet nothingness.

With a reassuring nod from the physiotherapist, Esmee and Kerstin carefully lowered her onto the stretcher, ensuring she was comfortable before the medical team began to carry her inside the stadium for further examination.

The injured player could hear the applause from the bystanders, but it wasn't much solace as the pain and disappointment hit her like a truck. Unable to hold back her emotions any longer, Y/N felt a sob escape her lips, the sound muffled by her hands as she covered her face.

The staff of the Dutch team carrying the stretcher watched with downcast eyes, feeling for the young player who had literally given her body and soul this match.

After what seemed like an eternity of navigating the labyrinthine corridors of the stadium, they finally reached the treatment room. With practiced efficiency, they set to work assessing Y/N's injury, carefully removing her shoe and sock to examine her blue ankle.

As the physiotherapists administered treatment, taping up her ankle and applying ice packs to reduce the swelling, the striker remained silent, lost in her thoughts and emotions.

Once her ankle was securely taped and she was given the green light to proceed, Y/N wasted no time in making her way back to the pitch. The pain was barely noticeable anymore as she walked with quickness in her strides, simply wanting to be with her team.

Surprisingly, the German and Dutch players were still exchanging handshakes with one another, acknowledging each other's efforts or catching up with teammates.

The Dutch captain delicately walked onto the pitch again going for the officials who stood in the center of the big field. On her way there, she shook hands or gave hugs with either her national teammates or club teammates, each of them praising her performance of the night- though the striker didn't feel deserving of it.

With a firm handshake and a nod of acknowledgment, she greeted the officials. One of them had asked about her injury, but the player assured her that she was alright. With a suppressed smile, she turned away from them.

''Y/N…'' She heard a voice next to her, immediately recognizing whose it was.

The Dutch striker tried to beam the best she could, a strained grin plastered on her face. ''Hey.''

Lena hesitantly motioned for a hug, not confident in how to handle the situation. Her girlfriend nodded, opening her arms, and welcoming each other in an embrace in the center of the pitch.

''I know it doesn't look like I am, but I am very happy for you and the girls.'' Y/N mumbled into Lena's neck, her voice thick with emotion as she fought to hold back her tears.

The German midfielder brushed her fingers gently through her hair, a soft sigh escaping her lips. ''Danke,'' (''Thank you,'') she whispered in response, her voice quiet but filled with gratitude. ''I know you're happy for us, you don't need to say it.''

Their embrace lingered for a moment longer, each reluctant to let go. But eventually, they pulled back, their eyes meeting in a silent exchange.

''How's your ankle?'' Lena asked, discreetly peeking at her girlfriend's taped up ankle.

The Dutchwoman shrugged her shoulders. ''It's just very bruised, that's it,'' she dismissed, ''you played really well- nice assist, by the way.'' Y/N changed the subject, not wanting to linger on the topic of her physical well-being.

Lena's cheeks flushed at the compliment. ''Thank you. I meant to score, though.''

The German glanced around the stadium, scanning the crowd. ''Where are your parents sitting?'' She asked.

Y/N pointed towards a section of the stands where her parents were seated, their faces alight with pride and excitement as they waved to them from the crowd. The couple happily waved back at them, Lena lightly chuckling at the poster that her girlfriend's father hastily pulled out of his wife's bag, motioning it around for Lena to see.

''They're so sweet.'' She remarked, her voice filled with affection as she glanced back at Y/N. But as Lena turned her gaze back to her girlfriend, she noticed a sudden shift in her demeanor.

As Y/N watched her family in the stands, a flood of emotions washed over her. She felt a lump form in her throat as she took in the sight of them, their smiles radiating nothing but support for their daughter and her national team. However, it was once she glanced down at the fans around them, downed in orange decorations and clothing, that her true feelings about the outcome of the match came to the surface. The sea of orange seemed to mock her, a painful reminder of the missed opportunities and shattered dreams that had taken place tonight.

The team had fought tooth and nail to simply make it out of the group stages, the late drama at the match against Belgium had filled the squad with newfound confidence and resilience. They'd come so close to their ticket to the Olympics, it was practically in their hands before it had been taken away from them and ripped in millions of pieces.

She couldn't help but feel a sense of profound loss. The weight of the defeat lied heavily on her, feeling somewhat the most responsible for the defeat, as if she had been the only player on her team. Deep down, Y/N knew this was far from the truth- football was a team effort, and their loss was a collective outcome. But the pressure she had felt was immense, spurred on by the absence of key players like Jill, Victoria, and Vivianne.

In the eyes of the Dutch media, Y/N had been hailed as the team's ''saving angel,'' a title that now felt like a heavy burden on her shoulders. She had been the one to step up in critical moments, delivering crucial assists and last-minute goals that had propelled the Netherlands to victory in the past. But tonight, she couldn't replicate that success- something she feared she would be crucified for by the fans and pundits.

Lena's heart ached at the sight of her girlfriend's distress, the lines of worry etched into her brow as she struggled to maintain her composure.

With a gentle touch, she reached out to Y/N, her fingers lightly brushing against her arm as she offered silent support. Lena understood right away what she was thinking as she watched her observe the crowd, it's what she had felt at the World Cup, it's what she had felt when Wolfsburg were knocked out of the Champions League.

Utter and complete disappointment.

''Hey,'' Lena murmured, her voice barely above a whisper as she sought to break through the walls of self-doubt that surrounded Y/N, ''it's okay, you did well.'' She comforted as she pulled her into another embrace, her arms caressing the Dutchwoman's back.

Y/N buried her face against Lena's shoulder, her tears soaking into the fabric of her jersey as she clung to her girlfriend's warmth. ''I wanted it so badly,'' she admitted, ''and I played so fucking bad, missed so many sitters.''

It was frustrating for Lena to hear, especially since her partner was easily one of the best players on the field tonight, and was the sole reason the Netherlands were still in the game the entire match. ''Do you know how hard you made it for us? You kept taking the ball from me.'' She tried to convince her, her voice resolute.

Y/N sniffled, her breath hitching as she struggled to hold back her tears. ''But I could have- I should have done so much better.'' She lamented, her voice muffled against Lena's shoulder.

Lena pulled back slightly, cupping Y/N's face in her hands so she could look into her eyes. ''You did everything you could,'' the midfielder reassured her, her gaze unwavering, ''you were playing out of your position the entire time, you were constantly creating chances for yourself and for your teammates, you were my player of the match- and I'm not just saying that,'' she interrupted herself before her girlfriend could, ''you're a phenomenal player, and I was so proud watching you tonight.''

Y/N's eyes widened with surprise and disbelief at Lena's words. She had been so consumed by her own self-criticism that she hadn't realized how much her partner valued and appreciated her efforts on the field.

She wrapped her arms around her, giving a swift peck on the cheek. ''Love you.''

''Love you too.'' Lena reciprocated, landing a kiss on her girlfriend's cheek as well.

The Dutchwoman glanced to her side, seeing the German team starting to form a huddle with one another. ''Obi,'' she caught Lena's attention, signaling towards her teammates, ''go and celebrate, we'll talk tomorrow, alright?''

As Lena hesitated, Y/N gave her an encouraging smile. ''Seriously, go join them, you're going to Olympics, have fun with them. I'm gonna be mad if you don't.''

''Okay, but we face time tomorrow?'' The young midfielder asked, needing the reassurance.

Y/N chuckled softly, touched by her partner's concern. ''We will. Now go, and party- oh my God.''

With a final nod of understanding, Lena gave her girlfriend's hand a gentle squeeze before reluctantly turning to join the German team in their huddle.

As Y/N watched her disappear into the celebratory chaos, a bittersweet smile touched her lips. She could see her own team waiting for her, already standing in a circle.

She took the spot next to her best friend, as Lynn made space for her to join.

A slight grimace crossed her face as the entire team listened to Andries, prompting the defender next to her to furrow her eyebrows. ''Je enkel?'' (''Your ankle?'') She asked.

With a wry smile, Y/N shook her head. ''Nee, de rugpijn die ik ga hebben na het slapen op de grond.'' (''No, the back pain I'll be having after sleeping on the floor.'') She responded, a teasing smirk on her face.

lena requests are always welcome!

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Musician Age Gap AU pt 2

Kara blinks, suddenly dumbstruck. Esme's t-shirt didn't do the woman justice. Her eyes catch briefly on a sharp jawline before being captivated by warm green eyes.

"Uhm, sorry, I-- I didn't mean..." Kara struggles with her words in a way she hasn't in years. "Are you--?"

"Yup," Lena confirms with a drawl, but her smile doesn't leave her lips. "Do I need to call security?"

"What? No! No, of course not, I didn't mean to barge-- I swear I wasn't looking for you."

Lena accepts the blithering answer at face value. "Good. It would be to have you thrown out before the show."

Sure enough, underneath her gray zip up hoodie Kara spies a flash of a silver bedazzled dress.

"I mean. For the record, you should." As soon as she says it, Kara picks up steam, suddenly angry on the artist's behalf. "I shouldn't have been able to get anywhere close to you---"

"It's okay," Lena assures her. "You don't look the type to be looking for an autograph."

Kara huffs, but finds a small smile creeping over her face. "No," she confirms. "I got lost."

One of Lena's eyebrows lifts.

"Well, first I got locked in the stairwell. Which is against code, by the way. And *then* I got lost."

Lena smirks, picking up her phone and typing out a short message. "Security," she explains.

"Oh."

"They'll be able to help you find your way better than I can."

Relief floods Kara, and then a thrill of excitement when Lena's smile broadens to a grin.

"You here with someone?"

Kara nods. "My goddaughter, Esme. She, uh.... she loves you. Rather a lot, actually."

"Tell her hi for me."

"I will-- oh! Shit, you've got a signal down here!" Kara fumbles her phone and her ticket, and in her rush to fire off a note to Esme promising to be there soon, doesn't notice when the ticket slips from her palm.

"Sorry," Kara rambles. "Damn. She's probably eaten all the nachos by now."

At that, Lena laughs, just as a hulking figure appears in the doorway behind Kara. "Yes, ma'am?"

"Hi Ryan," Lena greets, voice still full of mirth. "Miss, uh..."

"Danvers. Kara Danvers," Kara blurts.

"Miss Kara Danvers here got a little turned around. Would you mind showing her to where she needs to go?"

"Of course, ma'am."

Lena nods approvingly. When her gaze returns to Kara, Kara can't help but notice the brief glance that flicks over her, and the consequent blush that blooms in the younger woman's cheeks.

"I've got fifteen until places," Lena tells her. Her voice is smooth and low, velvet in the cinderblock room. "I'm sorry we can't chat more, but I'm sure Esme is worried about you."

Kara nods, swallowing. "Right. Um... thank you."

"My pleasure." Lena's crinkle at the corners. "Lovely to meet you."

"You too," Kara issues, turning to follow Ryan out the door and into the hall. It's not until the door shuts behind them that Kara realizes how hard her heart is thumping, or the tremble in her fingers.

"Jesus," she mutters, giving her hand a shake.

"Which level, Miss Danvers?"

"Second mezzanine, restrooms near the food vendors."

Ryan escorts her until Kara spots Esme, at which point he departs with her thanks. Esme dashes towards her, eyes wide. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Kara promises, giving her a hug. "Just got turned around. Sorry for taking so long."

"Come on!" Esme urges, already moving on from the subject. "We've got to get to our seats!"

Kara trails closely behind her goddaughter as they move towards the stands, but her thoughts remain with the raven haired woman two flights below.

Maybe tonight would be special after all.

[hellodropbear]

like she used to (IV)

alexia putellas x sister

chapter I, II, III

sorry this took longer! have been very busy with work and uni for the past few days :)

~~~~~~

Aitana has been suspicious of something all week. I feel her eyes on me during training, when we're in the locker room, as she drives me home and as I walk up to my front door.

But she doesn't say anything and I am grateful. Because if she did say something, I don't think I would be able to answer without telling her every single thing on my mind.

Nobody wants that. Not me, not Aitana. Probably not Alexia either.

So instead, I sit in the midfielder's car quietly, only speaking when she prompts me to, although even that has slowed down over the past few days. She was confused the first time I told her I didn't want to stop for ice cream, and I was grateful that she didn't ask again.

"you're sure? You've never refused ice cream before, lena!"

All I could do was shake my head, keeping my eyes focused on the road ahead.

I get home and I go straight to my room which is easy enough, considering Mami comes home from work late. I am supposed to be going to school, but Aitana doesn't know that and Mami doesn't know any different. She thinks I am there, and as long as I pick up the phone to my personal tutor in the evening, the school won't bother contacting my mother.

I shouldn't be skipping school, but I can't face going there and being asked all those questions about how great it is to be training in the first team, to finally have broken through into a squad that I would hopefully play with for most of my career.

But it isn't great, not really. My life has become a game of hide and seek, escaping rooms that my sister enters, too afraid to even face her.

I am not scared of her, more of what she will say. I am barely coping as it is and anything she says will just make it worse. It is best to just leave her alone, keep my distance.

And I think she thinks the same. She said she was going to take a step back, after all.

Not that is has been any different from before she took that step back. Her back was already against the wall, on the other side of the room from me. Any further and she would leave my life completely which does not seem possible, considering we play for the same club.

But I wish she wasn't so far away, I wish that I could just reach out and grab her attention, for her to know that I needed help without even having to ask.

And it hurts me, more than I'd like to admit, that her friends know exactly how to make me feel better, to make me feel valued, worthy. But she is just there, like a fly on the wall, always watching but never doing anything.

Even the more clueless ones have started to realise that things are not perfect between me and Alexia. We are never in the same room together, I leave training with Aitana every day. It is obvious, we all know it.

So they don't push us together. They don't talk about Alexia to me and they don't ask why we don't drive home together, why she isn't the first person to give me a hug if I score in training.

They don't want me to be compared to her any more than I already have been.

Because on top of all the personal issues, there is a lot of pressure, being her sister.

'Will Elena Putellas follow in her sister's footsteps?'

'The younger Putellas - set to be better than Alexia Putellas, but still hasn't come off the Barcelona bench.'

I've seen the articles, of course I have. Nobody ever mentions it though, nobody mentions the pressure I am under, the pressure I feel to live up to the expectations.

Of course I will not score as many goals as her, of course I will not make a debut at the end of the match like a midfielder often does. It is a lot harder for a centre back to come on as a last minute sub. It is harder for a centre back to score so many goals.

There are feasible reasons why they are saying these things, but none of the news sites think to explore those reasons, exclusively focusing on the negatives.

I don't bring it up because I think that if I mention something even slightly about my emotions, every single thing I feel will all come rushing out, a tsunami wave that will destroy everything I have worked towards.

I have to be strong; I can't let a little bit of pressure overcome me. Alexia had pressure, and she was never swallowed by it.

Alexia was not weak. I can not be weak.

But it feels like the tide has been pulled back, brewing in the deep dark depths of the ocean, preparing to build and build and build until it all becomes too much, until it is here, a huge wave ready to swallow me. Too late to escape, too late to stop it.

But quelling the wave does not seem like something I can do.

The only thing I can do about it is play my piano.

It is thing I am most grateful for, my piano that brings me closer to my father, the one thing I have that nobody else does.

I may not have his memories, but I don't think any memories could match the connection I feel, just sitting on his stool, my fingers dancing on the keys that his hands once graced, the keys that we used to play together.

It was the one thing that we shared, just the two of us. Something that neither of my sisters or my Mami could understand. All they know is to leave me be when I am playing the piano. I don't want to be interrupted and they don't want to face the wrath of my anger if I am stopped before I am finished.

Because it is the only way I can express my emotions and the emotions do not stop coming until the song is finished, until there is a puddle of tears in my lap, fed by the streams that track down my cheeks.

So they leave me be. I want them to leave me with my emotions when I play the piano. But they also leave me with my emotions when I sit in the lounge room, staring at a blank tv screen, staring out the window at just about nothing in particular. I wish they would realise that I don't always want to be left with my emotions.

I wish they could notice that something may be wrong, something more than just the loss of my sister.

Because it feels like more than that. I have never felt so lost in my life.

There is just so much going through my mind at any one time and I can't let it out because once I start I will not be able to stop until my walls have burst and I am nothing but an empty shell of who I was before.

Everything I once was is gone.

Replaced by confusion, hurt, sadness.

And I don't know why, because Alexia isn't all of me, football isn't all of me.

I know it shouldn't be but it feels like it is and even though Alba is right there as well, and Mami and my friends from La Masia, all I can think of is the fact that my older sister doesn't want to be my older sister any more.

And I can't stop thinking about what it could be like, if it was still what it used to be.

~~~~~~

I spend another two weeks wallowing in my confusingly overwhelming emotions before Mapi decides to intervene, intercepting me as I walk towards Aitana after training once again.

"No, you are coming with me today, pequena!"

I didn't even realise Mapi was here, her rehab finishes at the same time as Alexia, an hour before training ends.

She beams and throws her arm over my shoulder, ignoring my disgruntled expression.

"I will see you tomorrow, ABC." I murmer softly, but both Spaniards can hear it.

They both think I am too short to see the concerned look they throw at each other, but I notice it. I notice everything.

Mapi guides me out of the facilities and into her car and I can feel her concern grow as she inspects me from the drivers seat.

"You are not ok, Elena."

Her words are soft but understanding. It surprises me how she could just pick it up like that, I thought it was less obvious.

I thought it was less obvious because nobody has brought it up to me before.

I shake my head, not trusting myself to say anything without crying, although at this point it feels inevitable.

"That's ok. It's ok to not be ok, you know?"

I nod and she continues.

"When you came over the other week, I told you to talk to someone, but I don't think you have, have you?"

I continue my vow of silence by shaking my head, my eyes concentrated on how my hands shake and fidget in my lap.

I am too concentrated on my hands to realise that my eyes have filled with tears, to realise that the first one has slipped out. I only notice when the fat tear lands with a splat on my thumb and I stare at it, my mind full of confusion and unfamiliarity.

I don't understand how I feel, because I feel sad, and angry. They are normal emotions, ones that I have always felt, just usually in a less aggressive and persistent way.

But I feel so... lost, isolated. I feel alone and that is something I am not familiar with, not at all. Usually, I would talk to Alexia about my anger and sadness, but this has been going on for so long, slowly chipping away at my self-confidence, at my happiness. Now all I can feel is the loss of someone. Someone so important.

I may be dramatic, but how else would I describe it? She decided she was too busy and threw me away, a piece of rubbish. How am I supposed to cope with the fact that it's all I am to Alexia?

We used to be so strong as a family, we were always there for each other, nobody left behind. But I can't help but feel like I have been, just a bit.

Mami and Alba love me, Mami and Alba are proud of me. But Mami gets home after I go to bed and Alba has her own life, her own friends. She doesn't need to be pulled back by her little sister who has lost the ability to deal with her own emotions.

It would not be fair for me to pile my problems with Alexia onto Alba. It would not be fair to make her pick a side.

Alexia could be the person that helps me. We have similar schedules, interests, personalities. She knew me like the back of her hand and I knew her equally as well. But I don't think I have ever felt so disconnected from her.

Mapi snaps me out of my daydreaming when she speaks again.

"It is not healthy to keep everything inside of you, pequena, so we are going to the beach and we are talking. I am going to force it out of you because I miss my bright little best friend."

She reaches over and wipes the tears from my eyes, awkwardly pulling me into a hug.

"Everything is going to be ok. You are going to be ok, Elena Putellas, because you have me."

I nod, leaning back into my chair and using my palms to wipe my eyes as Mapi turns the car on and begins to drive out of the carpark.

"Thank you, Mapi." It is a whisper, but she hears me loud and clear, offering me a watery smile before focusing her attention right back onto the road ahead.

The car is quiet as we drive to the beach, Mapi just humming along to her song.

Mapi has always been a big talker. She always says she finds silences uncomfortable and sometimes even slightly overwhelming, so she talks. She talks and talks at a speed that makes it practically impossible to register what she is saying, and the inability to comprehend her spoken thoughts is only heightened by the way she jumps from topic to topic, her voice only increasing in speed and excitement as she gets more and more carried away.

But she is Mapi, and Mapi always talks, so I got used to it, finding her chattiness endearing, she was fun, always happy.

Which is why it is so meaningful when she isn't speaking, like she knows that her words are fruitless and likely not particularly tasteful - they won't be received well.

She is silent as we walk down to the beach and as she lays her rug and pillows out, sitting down and motioning for me to sit down next to her.

She is quiet for a few moments, like she is debating within herself on what she should say and when she should say it, captivated by the way he waves crash onto the sand cyclically, the beaming rays of sun showering the crystal water, the first indicators of the imminent sunset.

When she speaks, it is slow and it is quiet. Her words hug me in a way that has been missed for so long, and I immediately soften; she would have noticed my shoulders relaxing underneath her arm.

"I remember when I first met you." Her eyes are closed and a soft smile rests on her face. "It was before I even joined Barcelona, at my third camp with Spain. I had heard about you before, from Alexia, I knew so much about you from how much she would gush about everything you did every time I spoke to her. In person, over text, she was obsessed with you and sometimes I didn't understand why it seemed like all she spoke about was her little 5 year old sister."

She chuckles, but I stay silent, still staring out at the ocean.

"But then I met you and I immediately understood why she wouldn't stop talking about you. You radiated this happiness, like a little sunbeam. Alexia got you from the barricade after a match, it was only my second ever appearance, but Alexia brought you right over to me and introduced us. You grabbed onto my leg and held it, almost yelling about how cool it was that there was another player to meet."

I smile. I have never heard this story before.

"And then the next time, you recognised me and I was so surprised, so happy. But you were also happy, Elena, you always were smiling, laughing. You would hang from your sisters shoulders and whack her on the back, swinging around in her arms and laughing so loudly that we could hear you from the other side of the pitch. You were always like that, every time I saw you. I found myself looking forward to spain camps even more, because I got to see little Elena Putellas with her big smile and cheeky personality. But recently, I think you have lost a bit of your spark because you do not seem as happy. You seem miserable, lena, and I want to help you find that spark again because I promise, it is not gone forever. It has just been buried so deep by all these emotions that are so big and overwhelming and you can't even find who you are anymore."

Her words strike a cord, and I find that my eyes fill with tears once more, but I do everything I do to hold them back as I speak. There is a long moment of silence as we both look out at the waves before I break it with a quiet inhalation.

"I am so scared, Mapi." My voice breaks but I continue anyway. "I don't know who I am anymore and it is so scary. I don't know what happened or where I went but one day I woke up and I was just a miserable shell of the person I was and I don't know what to do."

She is quick to pull me into a hug as the tears start falling because we both know that once I let out the first cry, I will not be able to stop. Her soft hands through my hair and calm words that flow through the small space we occupy will do nothing to calm the turmoil I am feeling on the inside.

Thinking about it only makes it worse, like I am shaking everything up so it rises to the surface instead of letting it lay undisturbed deep inside of me.

But Mapi's words were like stepping into a turbulent plane, shaking uncontrollably, fear falling over me and triggering emotions that I didn't even realise I had inside of me. The dirt hazes up the water until everything is a big whirlwind of confusion. Emotions moving around to quickly to capture them and try to understand them.

The things I want caught up in the whirlwind of unwelcome mess, the whirlwind that I can't seem to get myself out of.

The injured centre back whispers calm words of affirmation into my ear for a while, her hand stroking up and down my back. It keeps me down to earth, does not let me fall into the trap of a million emotions.

"We will find who you are again, Elena. I will always be here to help you. I am right here."

I want to tell her that I want my sisters to be there to help me. I want Alexia to come back and I want Alba to realise that there is something wrong. But neither of them were there like Mapi is. Alba has tried to be there for me, but she doesn't get it because I don't know what to say.

But all I do is cry in her arms. The sobs soften into quiet whimpers as the sun sets, casting a yellow glow over the beach, but we stay there even as the air becomes cooler and the sky becomes darker.

Mapi decides that I will not be going home that night, not trusting me to take proper care of herself and instead taking me back to her apartment again.

Ingrid is there this time, and she looks at her girlfriend with concern when we walk in, immediately noticing my red face and puffy eyes.

"Hey, Elena." She smiled at me, but I was preoccupied by the little black cat that had begun to circle my legs.

"We had a chat on the beach and decided that because her Mami isn't home, she would stay here the night again."

I picked up Bagheera, tickling under her chin as I sat down on the sofa, trying to ignore the wary glances that were being sent in my direction by the Spaniard and Norwegian.

"I don't know what to do."

Mapi's words were hushed, and by the way she immediately spoke more quietly when she saw my head whip towards them, it is clear that they were not for my ears.

But as I fiddle with Bagheera's fur, I dissect her words. More than I should and definitely more than she wants me to.

She doesn't know what to do with me. She doesn't know how to help, how to fix what has been broken.

She doesn't know whether she should talk to Alexia because it would break my trust. Because telling Alexia could just make it all so much worse.

I think I have been holding onto hope that she really is that clueless and is trying to do what she thinks is best for me. I try to hope that is the reason this has all happened, and not because she simply has forgotten about me, or because she doesn't want to be responsible for me any more.

But honestly, I think it is a mix of all of that. And I think it has evolved from guilt, not watching my games, wanting to avoid the awkward conversations that could have arisen if she had apologised to me.

I wish she knew that an apology would make all the difference. A sincere one, from her heart.

Unprovoked. Just her, being truly apologetic.

Because as humiliating as it is, I would do anything to be back in her arms. I would do anything to have my older sister back, I wish that she would just do something that would make this all go away, to pick up the pieces of my shattered insides and stitch them back together. Eventually, the stitches would dissolve, I would forget all about them and I would be able to function normally again.

But Alexia is not a surgeon, and she would not be able to do that stitching seamlessly. She would use glue, but even that won't put it all back together so perfectly.

There is no way for her to just put it back together and pretend it never happened, to move on like this was just a blip. Because I am different now, I have grown. She has missed so much of my early teenage years - the years that I have most needed her help.

But I am not even sure that Alexia wants that any more; I don't know if she wants to fix this all up and move on.

The dinner table is quiet as I pick at my meal, Mapi encouraging me to eat more than a few bites, claiming she won't leave until my plate has been cleaned up.

Ingrid doesn't utter a single word, instead her green eyes piercing through my skin. I feel exposed to Ingrid, as if she can read everything, understand everything, just from one simple glance.

It is ridiculous, but she is deep in thought so I don't say anything to her either.

It is only when Mapi opens her mouth again that Ingrid's eyes flick over to her girlfriend.

"Does Alba know you feel like this? Or your Mami?"

It is a simple question, but strikes a chord.

No, neither of them know. Neither of them have even noticed a change.

I shake my head roughly, and Ingrid releases a scoff.

I look up, offended.

"What?"

She turns her head to me, confused, so I continue.

"It is not my fault! It is not easy to talk about these things."

"No, no. Elena, that was not directed at you."

She seems apologetic so I have to believe her. I push my chair back, attempting to leave the room with a clutter, cursing my misty eyes for what feels like the millionth time that day.

But me exit is not as seamless as I would have liked, and Mapi is standing right in front of me when I get up, wrapping her arms around me.

It is supposed to be to trap me, but Mapi's arms will never not be a comfort.

I immediately relax into her grip, sighing softly.

"I am so confused."

~~~~~~

Mapi's hands were running through my hair, my lap on the sofa as the tv played that evening. It had been an hour since dinner and the three of us had moved into the lounge room, the silence being filled by the Spanish show on the screen.

But there was a knock on the door and Ingrid sighed, standing up to open it, knowing that neither Mapi or I would get up.

It was both surprising and unsurprising to see Aitana standing there, her hair messy and over of her face, as if she had just been in bed.

"Is Mapi still awake?"

She didn't bother to greet Ingrid, clearly here for a reason. Why else would she have arrived at almost 11 at night.

I couldn't hear Ingrid's response, but I could hear Mapi speaking to me.

"She's worried about you too, Elena. You-"

I love Aitana, I always have.

"I know she is, she is terrible at hiding it. But she has avoided bringing it up. If she wanted me to talk to her I would try my best to, but she hasn't."

Again, I love Aitana and I know she has my best interests at heart. She knows I need to talk about everything to someone, but she also knows that I don't want to. She doesn't want to push even though I can tell she is worried. She is stressed.

Ingrid and Aitana enter as soon as I finish speaking, the Spaniard almost running to where I am lying, placing her hand on my cheek.

"You have been crying."

It is blunt, a bit surprising. I don't really know what to expect from Aitana, she has always been the light hearted one who never would shy from telling me how great I was, but we have never really spoken about melancholy emotions like these.

I suppose there has never really been a need to in the past, that is what Alexia and Alba were for.

She sits down on the floor in front of my face, her knees up to her chest as she stares at me, intensity in her eyes. It is not unlike the intensity she often displays on the pitch, motivated and passionate.

"I will help you." She is decisive. "We will fix this."

I nod softly and she runs her hand down my cheek.

"You are too young to be feeling like this, little Lena. I am sorry I let it get this far."

I look at her in confusion and she pauses before continuing.

"I knew something was wrong. I went to your games at La Masia."

I can tell Mapi is listening closer now.

"I know she didn't go to any."

Mapi gasps, quite loudly, and Aitana gives her a frustrated look, rolling her eyes softly.

"I should have said something to her. She doesn't realise how important you are, how lucky she is to have you."

I frown at her words.

"Lucky?"

It hasn't something I'd ever considered my sisters to be, having to look after a small child for most of their adolescence. Having to please me for so long.

"I used to dream of having a baby sister like you, she is lucky."

Mapi decides it is her turn to add something to the conversation.

"She loves you, Elena, she always has. Of course she thought she was lucky. She needed someone to help her pick on Alba."

There is suddenly a lump in my throat. I think it is the mention of the before that triggered it. The memories are too hard to handle, I usually avoid them at all costs.

My eyes become wet again, apparently, but Aitana just laughs softly.

"You two were just so mean to her, the poor thing."

Mapi lets out a chuckle from above me as well, and I find my mouth turning upwards into a smile.

"I probably should apologise now, shouldn't I?"

Aitana shakes her head, not able to hold back her laughs and Mapi is the same from where I can not see her.

It is when I finally laughed that I feel Mapi soften beneath me and see Aitana exhale a soft sigh of relief. They thought I wouldn't notice, but I did. I notice everything.

"We will fix this, ok?" Aitana was somewhat serious again, her hand patting my face. "We have a day off tomorrow, I will be here and we can all talk. We can all decide what to do next."

"Why are you two doing all this for me?"

Aitana sighs and Mapi's hands pause in my hair.

The midfielder looks above me, as if encouraging her to reply, but I speak up again before she can.

"Alexia is your captain, your teammate. She is your best friend, Mapi. Why are you doing so much for me when we are not speaking?"

There is another pause. It looks like Aitana is about to hit Mapi on the head, but the Spaniard speaks up before she can.

"Alexia has so many people behind her. Alexia is strong, she is experienced and she is older than you. You are just young, pequena and you are so lonely and lost. We want to help the both of you, but we need to help you first."

She pauses and Aitana finds the time to interject. It is like they have been talking about me.

Come to think of it, they probably have.

"You looked like you were going to burst. We knew that you and Alexia weren't speaking, that both of you were having a hard time because of it. But Elena, you looked destroyed. We couldn't leave you to your own devices any more. And Elena, we are doing this because we love you. So, so much."

"Alexia loves you too. More than us. She just does not do a great job of showing it, that's all."

I sigh softly, falling backwards into Mapi's lap, wondering just what I have done to deserve this.

How luckyI am to have my older sisters friends there looking out for me.

Because my family was falling apart and it was my fault. I couldn't do everything alone.

I choose not to think about what would happen if Mapi and Aitana weren't here like they are.

A tear slips down my face again, but this time it is not so sad. It is full of emotion, a grateful tear. Not quite happy, but not sad either.

"Thank you."

~~~~~~

hope you enjoyed :)

this chapter was more to gauge where elena is at, sorry if it was boring!

part V

[biblomaniac]

Supercorp headcanon:

Kara is ready to combust.

Everyday this week has been complete torment, but in a delicious way.

On Sunday, Lena wore an A-line floral dress to a brunch The Foundation hosted to promote its new Girls in STEM program.

On Monday, Lena showed up to CatCo for lunch with Kara in black slacks and a waistcoat, with a deep purple silk blouse underneath. Kara had to restrain herself from running her hand up and down the back of Lena’s blouse during their customary hug of greeting.

On Tuesday, the forest green dress Lena wore hugged her curves so well Kara couldn’t help but stare everytime she caught a glance of it across the room.

On Wednesday, a Hellgrammite started a fire in the business district that required the Superfriends help. J’onn, Lena, and Brainy stayed at the Tower as support for Supergirl, Dreamer, Sentinel, and Guardian. Four hours after the initial emergency alert, Supergirl flew into the tower through the balcony. She couldn’t wait to take a hot shower and maybe order some Chinese for dinner. But first, she had to write a debrief of her final saves from the day.

“Hey, darling. Are you ready to go?”

“Lena, hi! I’m almost—“ Kara starts to answer, but abruptly stops when she looks to the side and is eye level with Lena’s chest. “—done.”

The blue low-cut blouse Lena is sporting has left a considerable amount of cleavage exposed. Kara’s heart thunders, her face flushes, and her hand’s clench tightly to keep from reaching out to Lena. Unfortunately, the table under her grip isn’t prepared for the brunt of Kara’s Kryptonian strength, leaving two holes of twisted metal.

“…Oops.”

On Thursday, when Kara got to Lena’s penthouse, she found Lena snuggled on the couch in her National City University sweatshirt. The shirt was at least two sizes too large on Lena, giving it an oversized look. Kara’s eyes zeroed in on long, pale legs when Lena stood to greet the blonde with a hug.

After their hug, Lena moved into the Kitchen to gather snacks for their movie night. Without her heels, Lena had to tip toe to reach the Oreos on the second shelf.

“Darling, I can’t reach,” Lena huffed. When Kara turned to help, all the blood rushed to her head when she saw the former CEO’s nearly nonexistent short’s patterned with Supergirls crest.

Kara crossed the room on wobbly legs, reaching over the brunettes head to grab the Oreos, crackers, tea, and anything else from the top shelf Lena may need. If she takes a moment to glance down at her crest running along Lena’s ass and hips, well, she’ll just keep that little secret to herself.

On Friday, Lena wore black leggings and a soft white sweater to game night. Lena looked so soft and docile with her hair down, minimal makeup, and fuzzy socks. Kara couldn’t help but tuck her head into Lena’s neck, breathing in her sweet scent during their hug.

“Are you okay, darling,” Lena quietly asked as she moved one hand to cradle Kara’s head closer, while the other clutched onto strong broad shoulders.

“Fine, I’m fine. I just missed you.” Kara admitted.

“We saw each other last night, Kara.” Lena chuckled, moving to release Kara. The blonde wasn’t ready to let go, but did so anyway. Dropping her arms from Lena’s waist, Kara grabbed her hand and leading Lena to their favorite spot for game night.

On Saturday, it all finally comes to a head. The whole gang is out at Al’s Bar, enjoying the first night they’ve all been able to meet in what feels like years.

Lena looks stunning, dressed down in tight black ripped skinny jeans, a red crop top, brown leather jacket and black pumps. Their table had been crowded, and Lena made the executive decision to sit in Kara’s lap to “save space” for M’gann, who would be joining their group after her shift.

The drinks had been flowing steady all night, leaving everyone at least a bit tipsy. Kara had even indulged herself with an Aldebaran Rum and Coke. She sips slowly, remembering how it felt to be drunk the last time she had this drink. Lena’s proximity plus the alcohol is a heady combination.

By the time Kara is halfway through her drink, her left arm has snaked across Lena’s stomach, open palm holding the brunette close to her chest, while her right hand alternates between Lena’s thigh and her cup. Kara is hardly paying attention to the conversation, focused mainly on how close Lena is, how her hair smells like vanilla and honey, or how her heartbeat sounds strong and steady.

“Corazón, let’s go dancing!” Andrea exclaimed, pulling Lena to the dance floor.

Ugh, Andrea. It’s not that Kara dislikes her former boss, per se. The blonde just prefers that Kara and Lena time is not interrupted.

All week, Andrea has been popping up wherever Lena is. She stuck to Lena’s side during the entire Sunday brunch; called Lena for a meeting in the middle of Monday’s lunch date; was present for every single round Lena walked after Tuesday’s press conference; popped into the tower after Acrata helped with the fire on Wednesday; Thursdays movie night was interrupted when Andrea texted Lena about a “fashion emergency,” regarding a dinner she was going to; Andrea came halfway through game night on Friday, stealing Lena as her game partner and leaving Kara to third-wheel Alex and Kelly for the rest of the night.

Kara watches as Lena and Andrea move through the crowd of bodies to find a spot to dance in.

“You should just ask her out,” Alex leans over the the table to whisper-shout, her fourth beer clutched in her hand.

“Who?” Kara asks, trying hard to seem nonchalant.

“Lena, you dolt. We can all see clear as day how you two feel about each other. Put your big girls pants on and talk to her!”

“I don’t—I can’t, Alex. What if she rejects me? Our friendship just recovered, I can’t risk it asking for something I don’t deserve,” she laments, circling the rim of her glass with her finger.

“What about what Lena deserves? She cares about you, Kara. It’s been years of you two dancing around this thing.” Alex says.

“We aren’t dancing around anything, Al. She won’t want me, she doesn’t—“ the rest of her words die in her mouth as she catches a glance of Lena and Andrea on the dance floor. Lena’s back is pressed to Andrea’s front as the move to the beat of the music. When the song changes, Lena turns in Andrea’s grasp, standing chest to chest.

The glass in Kara’s grip shatters, spraying glass across the table. Thankfully, Kara’s cup was nearly empty.

“Shit, sorry. I’ll clean this up,” Kara said, using multiple napkins to collect the shards of glass.

Alex laughs, covering her mouth with her hand. “Kara, stop being a wimp and talk to her before Andrea asks her out again.”

“Yeah, okay, you’re right. I can do this, I got this.” Kara nods her head determinedly, chugs what remains of Alex’s beer and stands to make her way to Lena. As she navigates her way toward her hearts desire, she see’s Andrea’s hand lowering from its position on Lena’s back to rest on her ass. All conscious thought leaves Kara’s head as she quickens her pace just short of SuperSpeed to reach Lena.

“Lee—“

***************************************************

“Corazón, let’s go dancing!” Andrea exclaimed, pulling Lena to the dance floor.

“Drea, what are you doing?” Lena’s asks as she follows Andrea out to the floor.

“I’m helping you, Lena. If we get Kara jealous, she’ll stop acting like such a Girl Scout and finally make a move,” Andrea says, waving off Lena’s concern.

Lena stops walking and starts swaying at Andrea’s insistence, matching her moves seamlessly. It feels just like boarding school, with Andrea leading Lena by the hips. “I don’t know, Drea. You’ve been interfering all week and she hasn’t said so much as a peep. I don’t think she has feelings for me.”

“Joder, las dos son tan despistadas. She will! She has been jealous all week! We just have to step up our game,” Andrea exclaims in exasperation, turning Lena so that the brunettes back rests against her chest.

“Look at her, she’s glaring right at us! When the song changes, I’ll grab your ass and this will all be over,” Andrea laughs.

“Andrea! This is ridiculous. What does Sam think about this whole situation; shouldn’t you be worried about what she’ll say?”

“What’s between Samantha and I is none of your concern, Corazón. But if you must know, she told me, and I quote, “I hope it works so Kara can grow a pair—“

“Hey!”

“—I’m sure she won’t be bothered by what means I use to help you both along.”

“You know what? Fine, whatever. When it doesn’t work I don’t ever want to talk about this to either of you ever again.” Lena mutters, thoroughly embarrassed and ready to call a quits to their plan.

“I reserve the right to tease you both when it does,” Andrea replies, turning Lena around at the song change and moving one hand to grasp Lena at the ass.

“Kara’s coming; I told you this would work! Play cool,” Andrea says.

As Kara closes the final distance, she reaches a hand out to Lena, touching her on the shoulder, intent to end whatever this is between her and Andrea.

“Lee, mind if I cut in,” Kara asks sharply. Lena gives Andrea a glance, dismissing her wordlessly as she accepts Kara’s hand.

“I’m gonna step outside to take a call. Lena, call me later if you want to…talk,” Andrea imparts with a sly smile before moving to exit the bar. Kara glares daggers at Andrea’s retreating form.

“Hi, darling. How are you?” Lena asks, watching Kara’s face transform from a scowl to a happy grin.

“Better now that you’re with me,” Kara says pulling Lena closer by the waist. That Aldebaran rum may have given her a bit of confidence, but she won’t do anything Lena doesn’t want. “Is this okay?”

“Of course, darling. Are you okay; you looked a bit frazzled when you came over.” Lena wraps her arms over broad shoulders, admiring Kara’s beauty as they slowly grow closer to one another.

“Yes, yes. I was just a bit nervous, I guess.” Kara ducks her head at the admission, blushing.

Nervous? Odd. Kara may not be as outwardly imposing as Supergirl, but she is hardly nervous since her reveal to the world as being Supergirl. The synergy of Kara Zor-El encompasses both Kara Dancers and Supergirl, but without the necessity to hide behind one mask or the other.

Lena can’t hide the surprise in her voice, “What do you have to be nervous about?”

“I just—I want to be Andrea—“

“You want to be Andrea?!”

It seems the rum has also compromised her ability to articulate clearly.

“No, wait, that’s not what I meant. I want to be in her place with you. I’ve been…jealous. She’s interrupted our time together everyday and just now she was…” Kara bites her lip, turning her head to look away.

Lena bends to the side, trying but failing to catch Kara’s gaze.

“She was what, Kara. I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.” Kara is jealous. It almost seems too good to be true. Maybe Andrea’s plan will work after all.

Kara lifts her head, piercing blue eyes gazing into Lena’s own. “She was touching you! Holding you! I don’t want her to do that, Lena. I want, I want to do that.” Kara states with conviction, voice hardening determinately.

Kara thinks she’s overstepped when Lenas arms loosen from around her neck. She prepares to apologize, heart breaking at the thought of Lena turning her down. That is, until Lena reaches for her hands, dragging them from their purchase on her hips to rest just above her ass.

“You want to hold me like this?” Lena whispers, head tilted and pupils dilating. “You can Kara, you can touch me however you want.”

The blonde moves her hands down tentatively, looking for any signs of unease. “When she doesn’t find any, she palms at Lena’s ass, pulling her forward and holding tight. “This okay?”

“Perfect, darling; keep going.” Lena noses at Kara’s neck, interested to see how far this will go.

Kara starts to dance, leading Lena along to the thumping beat. She feels a new kind of thrill, so unlike the one she gets from being Supergirl. There is a hot, pulsating feeling running through her veins.

The superhero tilts her head down to lay a kiss on Lena’s temple. “This okay,” she asks, internally begging for Lena to want more.

“Keep going.”

Kara starts to lay soft kisses down the side of Lena’s face, hands still kneading her supple behind. When she reaches the brunettes jaw, she noses her way along the skin back up to her ear. She lays one more kiss on the shell of her ear before she whispers, “More?”

“More.” Lena says, nearly panting under Kara’s ministration.

The blonde drops her face to the crook of the shorter woman’s neck, placing a kiss on each pulse point before laying a third on the beauty mark at the center of Lena’s throat.

Lena reaches up, one hand tangling in the hair at the base of Kara’s neck, while the other holds firmly to a bulging bicep. “Keep going, darling,” Lena rasps.

Tentatively, Kara laves her tongue against the mark. At the sound of Lena’s quiet moan, Kara sucks at the mark. When she pulls away, there is a blossoming patch of red over the skin.

Kara touches her forehead lightly to Lena’s, gazing into verdant eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” Kara implores, cerulean eyes glassy and wanting.

“Please,” Lena supplicates, leaning forward ever so slightly.

Without further ado, the blonde presses her mouth firmly to the red painted lips in front of her. It isn’t long before the brunettes tongue runs across her lips seeking entrance into her mouth.

*********************************************

“Did it work?”

“Of course it did, Tesoro.” Andrea answers into the phone.

“Fucking finally. I’ll call Lena in the morning and get all the dirty details. Now that that’s taken care of, when are you gonna come see me?” Sam implores.

“I thought you were coming here next weekend?”

“ I am, but Ruby’s at summer camp for the rest of the week. I thought you could come spend some time here in Metropolis before we fly to National City.”

“Well, what’s in it for me,” Andrea flirts, already looking for red eye flights out east.

“You, me, an empty apartment, and all the time in the world to do whatever we please.”

“Promise me we can do that thing I like and I’ll be there in the morning.” Andrea knows she’s pushing her luck, but there’s nothing sweeter than a little pain with pleasure.

“Oh, baby, we can do whatever you want—” Samantha starts, voice sickly sweet, “—if you get here before dawn,” she finishes, voice low and demanding.

“Done.”

[natalievoncatte]

Lena was waking up, and not in her own bed. She was somewhere warm, swaddled in a heavy blanket. Her head was pounding and she didn’t want to open her eyes. A soft mewling sound tumbled from her lips, and she made as if to blink. Her eyes felt gummy and stuck shut.

“Shhhh,” a small, soft voice murmured. “I’ve got you. You’re okay.”

“Wuh?”

“Just rest,” Kara said.

It was easy to rest. He head fell against the wall of muscle that was Kara’s chest and pillowed on her breast and Lena let out a soft sigh, shifting a bit as she came around and grew more wakeful. She was sitting in Kara’s lap as Kara leaned back against a wall, and Kara had unclasped her cape and wrapped it around her in an impenetrable blanket.

As Lena opened her eyes, she saw that Kara was carding her fingers through Lena’s hair, so gently she barely felt it.

“Your hair is really pretty.”

“Thanks,” said Lena.

A kind of confusion swept through her. Weren’t they fighting? Lena was mad. She was furious. She was world-endingly, life-burn-downingly mad at the woman in whose lap she currently sat. Kara had lied to her about the fundamental nature of who she was and… and…

Lena didn’t feel mad.

“They gave you some pretty heavy drugs when they kidnapped you.”

“Kidnapped me?”

Kara let out a little snort. “You probably don’t remember. These were the lamest kidnappers, Lena. They nabbed you and immediately called me out. I found you and bagged them before you even came around from the drugs.”

“Thanks.”

“You probably won’t remember any of this later,” Kara sighed. “I just want to tell you I’m sorry again. I’m sorry I lied. It was wrong and you deserved better. I should have given you my trust the way you gave it to me.”

Lena blinked a few times but said nothing.

“I’ll never stop saving you. I will always protect you. Even if you never forgive me.”

Lena shifted slightly, pressing a little into Kara, who was now lightly teasing the tips of her fingers across Lena’s scalp, sending light tingles through her sleepy body. Kara yawned and shrugged.

“You okay? You warm enough?”

Lena nodded.

“Alex is coming with a team, she’ll make sure you’re all right. Go back to sleep, baby.”

Baby. That word sent a shockwave through her.

Lena’s eyes drifted shut. She was very tired and it made sense to sleep, to just let it all go. She was safe in Kara’s arms.

As she tumbled towards the dark, she felt the soft press of warm lips to her forehead.

“There’s still so much I want to tell you.”

Lena sighed and nuzzled into Kara’s shoulder. She was soft and warm and smelled heavenly, not just her lavender perfume but the soft smell of her. Lena never told Kara that she wanted to smell her armpits after spin class.

“You want to smell my armpits?!” Kara choked out.

Oh. That was supposed to be inside voice.

“Mmmhmm,” said Lena.

“Can I tell you something, since you probably won’t remember this later?”

“Sure.”

“I’m in love with you.”

Lena started, jolting a little more awake.

“No, shhh,” Kara said, pulling her into a tighter hug. “I know it doesn’t change anything. You don’t owe me anything. I’m just scared. I need you to know of something happens, if…” her breath caught. “If not fast enough.”

“Kara,” said Lena.

“Shh,” Kara murmured, touching a soft kiss to her forehead again that sent a jolt rippling through her.

“I don’t even know if you like girls. It’s just that was the real reason why I was so shitty and hid who I was. I was scared you’d leave if I told you and… and it happened anyway. I’m so sorry.”

Kara sighed.

“Sometimes I wish I could be human so there’d be no secret. I don’t know of Human Kara would have been brave enough to say anything to you but I’m a coward. It would be so easy if there was no lie.”

Lena opened her eyes and looked up. Hot tears glittered on Kara’s cheeks.

“And you know, if you lived with me, and not in that big fancy penthouse, nobody would kidnap you. I’d keep you safe and get you breakfast and make sure you eat before work and take care of you because you don’t take care of yourself.”

“Mmhm, and what do you get out of this arrangement?”

“Well,” said Kara, “I’d get to kiss the prettiest girl in the world.”

“Is that all?”

Kara’s throat bobbed as she swallowed. “Well. I could do more than kiss. I never have with another woman so I’m not sure how… but I want to…”

She brushed bright scarlet.

“I could teach you,” Lena whispered.

“Don’t do that,” said Kara. “Don’t dangle that in front of me, if there’s no chance.”

“Kara,” Lena murmured, her drugged brain grinding its gears a little, “you don’t fill someone’s office with flowers as a friendly gesture. One does not buy an entire billion dollar media empire to hang out with one person as a platonic exercise.”

“Oh,” said Kara.

“I thought you were straight,” said Lena. “It boggles my mind that you thought I was. Me? Really? Have you seen me?”

“Yes,” Kara was looking at her intently now. “I have seen you since the first day. When I saw you for the first time I felt something I’ve never felt before or since.”

“This fight we’re having,” said Lena. “It doesn’t really feel important right now.”

“I know, but you’re on drugs.”

“Will you kiss me?”

“No.”

Kara’s lips were trembling. She dipped slightly as if she’d changed her mind, then pulled back and pursed her lips, pressing her eyes tightly closed.

“You might not feel this way later. It would be wrong.”

Alex chose that exact moment to kick the door in, sending a shower of splinters across the room. Kara pivoted in anticipation, shielding Lena but twisting around so they were even closer, Kara’s stunning blue eyes filling Lena’s vision.

“If you still feel this way later, call me.”

From then it became a blur. Kara placed Lena gently on a stretcher and reclaimed her cap, then trudged a safe distance away and flew off.

Alex was curt and short with her as usual, fussing over unnecessary risks and complaining sharply that Lena got into too much trouble, before sharply cutting off the conversation when it got too friendly and storming off.

Lena ended up back in her penthouse by six, all in all a fairly convenient kidnapping and rescue. She trundled inside and sat down on the couch, staring straight ahead for a while before she went to pour a glass of scotch, then thought better of it.

The night was chilly. National City never really got cold, but on a January night it could be brisk. Lena leaned on her railing and stared out at the bright lights of the city, the flow of traffic beneath and the distant sounds of life and joy.

Suddenly she felt very cold.

“Kara,” she sighed.

In an instant she was there, appearing in a faint gust. Her cape billowed out majestically behind her, hair aloft on the wind currents like clouds of spun gold. Kara didn’t look like an angel; angels looked like Kara.

“Come inside.”

Lena turned and walked back into the warmer confines, hearing the gentle thud of Kara’s boots on the balcony and her soft footsteps walking over.

“Haven’t been here in a while.”

“I used to dream of you moving in with me,” Lena admitted.

Kara stood silently behind her, shifting on her feet.

“I used to think about pampering you every time you mentioned that your rent was high or joked about a reporter’s salary. I wanted to take care of you, treat you, give you fine things.”

“You don’t have to give me anything.”

Lena turned around and crossed the distance between them. With Lena barefoot and Kara in heels, she towered over her. Lena stepped aggressively into her space and Kara didn’t flinch as Lena curled her fingers in the collar of her suit and pulled her down.

She didn’t hesitate. She gently bracketed Lena’s hips in her hands and pulled her in, bending over her to bring their lips together, Kara’s every move soft and gentle, the utmost care in every tiny gesture.

Kara was a good kisser. Lena let it deepen, feeling the heat flush in her chest and elsewhere, as Kara swept her cape around the both of them in a grand, silly, absurdly romantic gesture that made Lena’s knees go all wobbly and her belly flare with warmth.

“I could give you another chance,” Lena whispered into Kara’s lips.

“I’d like that.”

“Want to fly me home?”

“You are home,” said Kara, sounding a little confused.

Lena looked around the apartment, then rested her head on Kara’s chest. “No, I’m not.”

“Oh,” said Lena.

“Take me back to your loft. We can kiss and do the other things and then you can go get me breakfast.”

Kara slid her arm under Lena’s legs and back and picked her up, tucking Lena gently against her chest, stepped up onto the balcony railing and then off, into space. Lena’s breath caught and she tensed as she always did. She really didn’t like heights.

“I won’t drop you.”

Flying back through Kara’s window was a little awkward with the two of them, but they managed. Inside, Kara deposited her on the couch and the fussing began.

First, she made Lena put on a hoodie at the first sign of a shiver. It was old and threadbare and smelled like Kara, and when she wasn’t looking Lena buried her face in the sleeve and breathed it in.

Kara placed an order at a local restaurant and rather than wait for delivery, zipped out and got it herself.

“Do the people at the potsticker place not freak out when Supergirl pops in?”

“Actually, they give me a discount.”

She put the food in front of Lena and disappeared briefly, emerging in a tank top and running shorts, and Lena almost dropped the potsticker she was about to bite into.

Kara sat down beside her, and Lena stared at her. She wasn’t wearing her glasses and her hair was in a loose ponytail, leaving her in a kind of halfway state between Kara and Supergirl. Despite the display of her blocky shoulders and the ribbed fabric tight on her bunching abs, she looked so warm and soft.

Kara speared the potsticker and popped it into her own mouth.

“Hey!” Lena chirped.

“You were just staring at it.”

“Kara!”

“Fine, here.”

Kara gently took another dumpling in her chopsticks and offered it. Lena looked at her askance, then leaned forward and took it in her mouth, eyes never leaving Kara.

Slowly, they shifted together until they were side by side on the sofa, Lena sort of falling onto Kara as she sank into the cushions. They were less eating and more feeding each other, which turned into Lena feeding Kara as they watched whatever came on the TV.

Kara slowly worked an arm around Lena’s waist and Lena turned, throwing her legs across Kara’s thighs.

“I’m tired,” said Lena.

“You’ve had a long day.”

“Want to go to bed?” Lena said. She tried to put her best husk into her voice but it cracked a little and betrayed her.

Kara said nothing. She smiled and lifted Lena up with ease and carried her to the bed.

Lena shimmied out of her leggings, letting them fall around her ankles, all while covered by the oversized hoodie, and her heart was pounding as Kara lifted the covers with an exaggerated gesture and beckoned her into the bed. Lena climbed aboard.

Kara crawled in after her and embraced her like she was trying to pull Lena inside her body.

“You must be tired,” Kara murmured. “It’s okay if you just want to sleep.”

“I am,” Lena whispered back.

Kara started to pull back, but Lena held on. “Can you hold me for a while.”

“Nothing is gonna get you.”

Lena closed her eyes and curled up against her, sighing.

Two weeks later, she put the penthouse on the market.

[meazalykov]

avoidance

lena oberdorf (romantic) x lea schūller (platonic) x reader

warnings: angst (but there's a hopeful ending)

the crisp air of the training center fills your lungs as you take in the familiar sight of the pitch for the first time since june. its now august and since you’ve won silver in the olympics last month for your country, you’re feeling confident about coming back onto the pitch.

you've been a striker for bayern munich since 2022, and with ewa’s recent departure from wolfsburg to barcelona, you're now recognized as the best forward in the Bundesliga. your teammates look up to you and respect you as much as you love and respect them .

today is different, though. you’ve been through the new season routine once so far, so this is the second. there are new faces joining the team, and this is where you’re the most tense. you love to welcome new players onto the team, but your social anxiety makes you overthink every little detail.

one person who's joining bayern stands out in particular: lena oberdorf, the talented midfielder whos coming from wolfsburg. you know lena well from her reputation on the field, and the amount of times she nearly broke your ankles on the field— which lead to you yelling at her angrily— but she’s also well-acquainted with most of your teammates from the german national team.  so, you hope that you guys can start off on a nice path.

you walk out from the dressing room onto the grassy pitch to see most of your teammates gathered around lena, whos dressed in the red training kits— odd. you’re used to seeing the taller girl in green. however, you push that thought to the back of your mind as you approach lena and the rest of the group, offering a warm smile as the group acknowledges your presence. 

“sorry i’m late, what's going onnnn?” you speak up. at first, you look over to one of your closest friend at bayern, lea. you cross your arms in a natural stance as some of the other girls are relieved at seeing you, wondering if you’d be late. 

“oh nothing much. we have some fresh meat on the team though–” lea says as she lightly punches lena on the shoulders, the ex-wolfsburg player punches her back. this caused a giggle to come out of you awkwardly, as you didn’t introduce yourself to her yet. 

“hey! i’m y/n” you smile as you reach your arms out to hug lena. she smirks at you as you both share an embrace. you felt warm in her arms and she smelled good, like a nice scent of coconut. 

“oh i know you– i’m lena.” she says before pulling away from the hug, which you do the same. all of the other girls have their eyebrows knitted with curious looks as they’re noticing your interactions. 

“welcome to bayern– i’m sorry for the amount of times i’ve started fights with you on the pitch.” you cross your arms again. lena and you laughed at the old memories. 

in one particular game last season— you went to shoot the ball into the goal before you felt a cleat smack into your left ankle. the same left ankle you’ve sprained during international break months before the incident. you fell to the ground in anger, not because of the missed goal but your fear towards a possible ankle injury. after figuring out– from the absence of pain–  that you were okay, you stood up and confronted lena in her face. 

the ref already gave her a yellow card for side tackling your body— but you felt as if you needed to get words in yourself. your teammates pulled you back– with sydney reminding you that everything is alright– but you were still angry. sometimes lena had provoked you in other games against wolfsburg, which made it worse. 

that's why your bayern teammates look at you guys in shock, noticing that there is an instant connection between the two of you. none of them expected this. some expected the air to be filled with awkwardness as you arrived, standing just 2 feet beside lena. 

“its all good– theres no worries.” lena says, even though she is aware that she started some of the fights between you guys too. 

over time, the simple interactions turned into something more. 

during training, lena’s looks towards you lingered for longer than it had to. she’s found you attractive since the first time you guys clashed together, sometimes provoking you so you’d give her more (individual) attention, but now you are both on the same team. 

during the first game against juventus, you scored from outside the box which excited the crowd and your teammates. after running towards the corner with your arms out wide– in your typical celebration— you turned around and noticed that lena is the first one on your arms. you hugged her tightly and put your head on her shoulders as the other girls circled around to congratulate you. 

after the game, you asked lena if she wanted to grab coffee the morning after. at first, you thought about inviting her to your apartment to watch a movie– which is what you always do to wind down after a game and taking a long shower after– but you figured that taking her to your apartment might imply something different. so, you went with something easier.

the coffee dat- hang out lasted for about four hours. lena and you talking to each other felt natural, and easy. lena's presence becomes a comforting part of your routine overtime, and soon, she's more than just the wolfsburg player you had tension with– now she's a teammate; and a friend.

one evening, after a recovery session, you both decide to grab dinner at a nearby café in munich. you introduced lena to this cafe, which is funny because she's the german one and not you. the conversation flows effortlessly, as per usual.

"you know, i was nervous about joining bayern due to the amount of hate i received," lena admits, taking a sip of her drink. "but you guys made the process so easy."

"i’m glad that you’re here lena," you reply, sincerity in your voice. 

however, the bond between lena and you doesn’t go unnoticed with the team. georgia and sydney, pull you aside one december afternoon in the locker room. they had enough with you ditching their weekly plans to go spend time with lena instead. 

their expressions are serious, tinged with concern. this scared you at first because you’ve never seen them in this way. 

"y/n, listen," georgia starts, her eyes searching yours as you looked at her with nervousness. "you’re ditching us for lena because we think you have feelings for her."

the words hit you. internally, you start to panic. it's true, of course. you've known for a while now, but admitting it to others, and even to yourself, has been a struggle. your last relationship was an abusive nightmare. this causes you to shut yourself out and build walls around your heart. 

vulnerability is a luxury you can't afford, not after everything you've been through.

"ha-ha.. you're imagining things," you deflect, trying to sound casual. "lena and I are just friends."

sydney crosses her arms, giving you a knowing look as her eyes widened. "don’t lie! we see the way you look at her. it's okay to have feelings, you know."

you swallow hard, your mind racing. "i don’t–ugh– i just can’t, guys. I just... I can't go through that again." you stutter, not knowing what to say exactly. you hoped that nobody would confront you on this.

"you can't let what happened with that ex of yours control you," georgia says softly, placing a hand on your shoulder. "lena's different. she would never do that to you– i’d kill her if she did– we all know that you’d treat each other so good."

after that conversation in the dressing room– you start to distance yourself from lena–withdrawing into the mental shell you've built for self-preservation. 

at first, lena seems confused, her attempts to reach out to you becoming more frequent and insistent. at first, she thought you were sick. until she noticed that you’d go hang out with other players on the team– like sydney, georgia, ana, and giulia.

"y/n, what's going on?" lena asks you one day at practice, her voice a mixture of concern and frustration. it was the last training before the quarterfinals of the champion’s league against PSG, which was the topic on everyone's minds lately– except for lena and y/n’s of course. 

"did I do something wrong?"

you shake your head, avoiding her gaze as you bury yourself into the red puffer jacket provided by the club. "no, lena, it's not you. I just– I just need some space."

"space?" she echoes, hurt flashing in her eyes as she knitted her eyebrows. "we were fine, and now you're shutting me out. why?"

you can't bring yourself to answer, so you walk away towards most of the team who is ready to train– you left her standing there, looking lost and confused.

as the days pass, her confusion turns to hurt. you can see it in her eyes, in the way her smile doesn’t reach them anymore, and it tears you apart. you put on a great poker face, going through practices and scoring twice in the second-leg quarterfinal game– giving bayern the ticket to go to the semi-finals– but in your apartment you were heartbroken. the way your face would be burying into your couch pillow as you frowned with a tear coming out of your eye– you wished that being vulnerable– in love and happy– would be much easier.  

your teammates notice the growing rift. the atmosphere in the locker room becomes tense. eventually, an international break happens and you left to play for your country. 

during this time period, lena opened up to the german bayern teammates about her feelings towards you. she fell in love with you over the last six months– but she didn’t understand why you pulled away. it was harsh. 

some of the girls on the team were upset, they knew why you were pulling yourself away from lena. 

finally, lea confronts you at your apartment on the first day you’re back in munich. you open up the door to see the look of frustration and anger on her face. you have never seen the calm woman so upset.

you came back from a win in the gold cup tournament with your national team so your spirits were high, but lea might have you come back to your reality in germany.

"y/n, whatever you’re trying to do– you need to stop it!” she snaps. you’re frozen as lea comes into your apartment without the need for invitation.

you find the movement to shut your door before following lea into your living room. she stands right by your couch as you stand awkwardly 5 feet away with your hands shaky by your side. 

“what?” you mumbled.

“you’re hurting lena with your avoidance and its pissing me off!" she snaps again, her eyes blazing. "you caught feelings for her and you’re scarred– rightfully so– but there's a limit with leading her on just for you to pull away.”  

“i’m sorry-.” you mumbled again, tears filling your eyes.

 

“no! stop letting your past control you. you're sabotaging yourself and it’s affecting everyone."

"lea, you don't understand," you begin to speak, but she cuts you off again.

"no, YOU don't understand," she retorts. "we all know about your past, lena does now too– and you didn’t deserve any of that– but lena is not your ex. she's in love with you y/n! she's not going to hurt you like that. you're pushing her away for no reason."

her words are harsh, but they strike a chord. lea's right, and you know it. the fear of getting hurt again has been holding you back, but in pushing Lena away, you’re only hurting yourself more. you stand there as tears pour down your cheeks. you didn’t bother wiping them, ashamed at what you thought was a safe option, but it was stupid. 

lea walks up to you and wipes your tears off of your face- you flinch– but eventually she hugs you as you let the rest of your tears flow. 

“i am not mad at you y/n, none of us are. we just need you to make the right decision.” lea calmly speaks. she finger-brushes your hair as you relax into the warm of your friend. 

“i love lena, lea, so much.” you say your thoughts out loud. 

“we know.” lea replies. 

“you need to make things right though. things aren’t over between you both. please let lena in, let you two feel the love that you both deserve.” lea continues as you mentally start to open yourself up again. 

the next practice– you start to reach out to lena again, trying to rebuild the bridge you nearly burned. 

remembering how lena loved your protein brownies one time back in january– you made a big patch and gave the full pan for her to keep. there was a note inside of the tinfoil, apologizing for trying to push lena away– but she understood. 

it's a slow process, but you’d take all of the time in the world just for lena to forgive you. 

there were awkward conversations...

your hesitant attempts at rekindling the bon you've missed. 

still.. lena was wary towards you sometimes, her responses guarded.

you muster the courage to approach her a few nights before the semi-final against chelsea. maybe, having this talk at this time could help you both be on your best game– mentally– for the match. 

"obi, can we talk?" you ask, your voice hesitant.

she looks at you, a mix of hope and caution in her eyes. "sure."

her cold tone bothered you, but you can only blame yourself. 

you sit down together in a lounge room on the training grounds, the silence heavy between you as you can both look out of the windows to see the pitch. before speaking, you look out at some of the girls on the pitch passing the ball with their heads. practice ended over half-an-hour ago so you’re surprised that some girls are still here.

taking a deep breath, looking at lena, you begin. "i'm sorry for how i've acted throughout the winter. it was not fair to you. i just... something happened– and i realized something which scared me– i've been through a lot, and I got scared." 

you realized you were jumping corners, away from confessing your true feelings and thoughts, but you wanted the conversation to go one step at a time.

lena listens, her expression softening as she remembered what some of the girls told her during the last international camp. "i get that you're scared, but i would never put you in harms way, which is what hurt me the most"

you nod, tears pricking at your eyes as you look down at your white colored cleats with grass stains. "i know. i promise you i'm trying to get over this fear through the therapy i’ve been doing here. i really like you, lena—-- more than just a teammate— and a friend” you mumble.

lena's eyes widened, her breath catching as what their teammates told her were confirmed with y/n’s words. "honey..."

"i know it's a lot to ask right now," you continue, your voice trembling. "but can we try? can we see where this goes?"

for a moment, lena is silent, processing your words. then, she reaches out, moving her chair closer to yours and taking your hands in hers. "i have feelings for you too, y/n. in fact, i think i am in love with you— but I can't be in this alone. i need to know that you’ll be here and you won’t pull away at any moment of struggle.” lena says, noting that all relationships do have mini-struggles, including healthy ones.

you’re scared, more than you’ve ever been, but your heart slows down from its rapid beating after hearing that lena loves you. you look into lena’s eyes, they’re beautiful and you smile with hope.

taking a deep breath, you nod. "i’m willing to try, lena. for you, and for me, and for us."

lena smiles, a genuine, bright smile that warms your heart as she squeezes your hands. "that's all I needed to hear."

It’s not a perfect resolution-- not at all-- and you know there will be challenges ahead. however, you start to see the hope that you thought you wouldn’t have for a very long time.

--

had this in my drafts for a few weeks lol, wasn't planning on posting this originally <3

[doudouneverte]

Let the sun shine for a last time

a/n: hello...

Pairing: Ewa Pajor x Léon!reader; VfL Wolfsburg x reader

Summary: Ewa last game for Wolfsburg [in the same universe as 'Ray of sunshine']

Type: Fluff

Warning; use of Google tranlsate for Polish and Spain like usual so let me know id there's mistakes

word count: 2332

-------

Things were strange. Well, not really. It was just the end of the season. This time of the year always seemed rushed. You usually didn't really feel that, but this time it was different.

All started nearly before the final of the cup. It was not a big deal, and you were confident in your victory, even if it was against Bayern. But this year it was different. It was not only for the club this time.

After nine years in the club, things were about to change, and you finally started to process it at the end of the away game against Werder when you saw Ewa crying against Alex.

Your teammates could see that something was bothering you at the end of the game but didn't say anything. It was not really a surprise that your wife would leave the club at the end of the season, but it seems to be only official after her announcement on social media.

Among all the fans thanking your wife for her service at the club and wishing her good luck for the next step, some were really asking themselves how you were doing knowing that you extended your contract with the German club last season.

And that was a great question. How were you doing? Well, it wasn't a surprise that you didn't seem the same.

You woke up before Ewa; it was a sunny day, and the temperature was also good, but you didn't feel right. You sat on the edge of your bed, scanning the room, trying to process how this would affect your life here, even if you knew that nothing would really change.

Lost in your thoughts, you were oblivious to your wife, who was searching you in her half-sleep state, wiping her arm everywhere on your side of bed before finally lifting her head when she didn't find you. "What are you doing?" she mumbled through tiredness. When you didn't reply, she finally decided to sit up, brush the remnants of sleep in her eyes, and wrap her arm around your chest before her head found a place on your shoulder. "Hi, are you okay?" she asked, finally catching your attention this time.

"Yeah, sorry, I just spaced out." You replied.

"I can see that." She waited a moment, comfortably pressing against you, to think about moving. "I love you, you know that?" She asked out of the blue, making you look at her.

"Yes, of course, and I love you too."

"I know, I just wanted to remind you of that. I don't know what's going on in your mind, but I can see that you're not yourself." She finished her sentence by leaving a soft kiss on your neck and gently locking her hands with yours.

"I think you're still tired, mi amor, you're talking nonsense." You tried to brush it off, even if you knew she could see through any of your masks.

The striker didn't talk further and just stayed like that for another fifteen minutes until you needed to use the restroom.

A few hours later, the brunette was almost dragging you into the changing room with all your teammates already there. Like expected, she was immediately circled by some teammates.

Even if you knew that nothing would change between you two, you couldn't help but notice the little change from the last few weeks. Like right now. Since the day before the final of the pokal, Ewa has become more 'intimate' with you around everyone.

Walking hands in hands, sitting on her laps, calling you sweet names, or even dropping some discreet kisses. Of course she already did things like that before, but it became more frequent, and she didn't even hide it from your teammate.

Don't get it wrong, you liked that more than anyone else, but it also felt like she was trying to make up for her choice.

After letting go of her hand, you found your place next to Lena. The midfielder greeted you with a tight hug, making you laugh. The German player only let you go before Do was the new one to catch you between her arms.

"Oh, come on, girls, you already want to make me cry?" You said earning some laughs from the two players.

"I'll miss you." The Dutch woman told you sincerely. After five years in the club, the two of you grew pretty close, almost like sisters.

"Don't miss me too much, because I don't think I'll be able to see you as much as I want."

"Will you come to see me?" The young player asked, making you roll your eyes.

"Come on, even if I don't, you'll be the one who comes back here. You can't live without me." You joked.

"Okay guys, don't bother my super defender, I need her total focus for the game." Merles said coming out of nowhere.

"Don't worry, I'm always focused." You reassured her.

After getting changed, it was time for the last warm-up for the last game of the season. Warming up with the defender and some midfielders, you were stuck with Do and Lena, who didn't stop to tease you about the heart eyes you gave to your own wife.

Back in the changing room, you changed for the green kit, and immediately after that, Ewa somehow just appeared next to your cubby and was determined to stay there even when the coach came for the last tactical talk.

For her last game, the Polish player was designed to be the captain today, which meant that she was leading the team out the tunnel, forcing you to stay behind. You seemed excited; at least that's what a lot of people would think if they saw you right now. Honestly, you were nervous, and Alex could see that, so she just kept her hands on your shoulder, trying to ease your mind, which was usually Ewa's special mission.

"Don't worry, it will be alright." That was the last thing the tall player told you before you came out of the tunnel.

AOK Stadion, May 20th. For maybe one last time, you were looking at the woman wearing the number '9' on her green and white shirt with her back facing you, waiting for the whistle. And when it comes to time, it seems to go so quick and so slow at the same time.

Slow because, after only a halftime, you were leading 4-0 with a hat trick from your wife. But quick, because after only a few minutes back for the second half, you understood that it was maybe the last minutes that you shared with her in front of this public, wearing this kit in the city that you called home.

When Ewa got subbed off, time seemed to finally go with you, and the end of the match was a big rush but allowed Wolfsburg to win 6-0.

The final whistle and the tension left your body. A pretty big victory for the last of the season. You were caught in your celebration with Nuria and Fena, so you were surprised when you were spinned around by a very happy brunette, and her lips crashed on yours immediately.

At first, you were shocked, but you quickly forgot that and reciprocated every feeling she put on that kiss. It was a special one. It was a mixture of the goodbye kisses she gave before leaving for international duty, with the make-up kisses you exchanged after any arguments, and with the celebration kisses that you used to exchange the night after you lifted a trophy. The sensation was exceptional, almost making you nostalgic for the first time you kissed her or when you did to officialize your marriage.

A lot of sheering could be heard around you. Well, it was very hard to tell where it was from because it seemed like the whole stadium was screaming for you.

"Wow." was the only thing you were able to say after you pulled apart. Ewa was blushing in front of you, even if for some people it just looked like she was just exhausted from the run she made to reach you.

She didn't wait until you said anything else before locking you in a tight hug. "Kocham Cię. Wiem, że już to wiesz, ale naprawdę chcę, żebyś wiedziała, że cokolwiek się stanie, nic. I mówię, że absolutnie nic nas nie rozdzieli. (I love you. I know that you already know that, but I really want you to know that whatever happens, nothing. And I say absolutely nothing would drift us apart.)" She rushed out of her mouth in her native language, making you furrow your eyebrows a little. But she couldn't have to say anything else before she was required to receive her top goalscorer trophy.

You followed her, letting her pose with the trophy, until she turned around and made her way back to you. "I love you," she repeated, "and thank you for all these years." You didn't reply 'I love you' back before the team almost crashed against you and your wife.

The rest of the celebration was very good, and back at your home around 11 p.m., you were both really exhausted. Your hands were full with all the presents from the club and the fan for departure when your phone rang in your pocket.

You groaned from exhaustion, of course, but also irritation. Thankfully, the striker carefully dropped everything and picked up your phone for you.

"Hola Mapi, ¿cómo estás?" You heard your wife ask while you were finally freeing your arms.

"Oh, muy bien, gracias. Veo que tus clases de español finalmente empiezan a dar sus frutos. (Oh, very good, thank you. I see that your Spanish lessons finally start to pay off.)" Your sister replied, making you a little proud.

"Y/n is a very good teacher when she wants to." You rolled your eyes at that but decided not to comment.

"Talking about her, where is she?"

"I'm here," you said, appearing just beside Ewa, not forgetting to give her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Look at how cute you are. Look, Ingrid, aren't they cute?" The defender asked her girlfriend.

"Yeah, very, but you should check on Instagram." The Norwegian said making you a little confused.

"Yes, that's why I called you." Mapi seemed to miraculously remember something very important. "Check on what I sent you on Instagram." Unfortunately, you couldn't ask more questions before she hung up.

You were both perplexed about that but decided to check it out after a well-deserved shower. After that, you were on your bed while Ewa was drying your hair when you remembered what your sister said.

You picked up your phone and went on Instagram. You didn't bother to check the message you got, only Mapi's one, and let's just say that you were surprised. The other woman peeping at your phone from your back immediately stopped what she was doing after she saw what your sister sent you.

"What is that?" It was not a question, but more something she said at the moment because she didn't know what else to say. Because she already knew what that was, and she knew that she was responsible for it.

Here in front of you, a post that consisted of only one thing: the kiss that your (actually shocked) wife gave you on the heat of the moment after your game.

It was not a secret that you two were married, so it wasn't really surprising when people saw you kiss each other. But there you were both now, almost everywhere on the woso side of Instagram, kissing shamelessly your wife in front of everyone.

But the quality of the photo was actually not bad; even better, it was a very professional quality, which made you think about something.

"I want to frame it." You announced, making Ewa's jaw drop.

"What?" She asked even if she clearly understood.

"I want to frame it in the biggest format possible. I'll hang up the TV in the living room."

"No, moja kochana (my love), you can't."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to have a huge picture of me, lips locked with yours, hanging up to my TV in my living room or anywhere in my house."

"But we have an exact picture of you, lips locked with mine next to our bed!"

"It was from our wedding, kochanie (honey)!"

"And?"

"What you mean, 'and?', I don't want to, end of the discussion." She finished her sentence by leaving the hair dryer next to the bed before she lay in it. "Turn off the light when you have finished."

You didn't say anything else. You liked the post. You got up to turn off the light, joining her on your bed.

"Know what? I'll miss this." You gently wrapped your hand around her.

"What?"

"Our arguments, our little debates, and everything else."

"You sound like I'll leave and never come back."

"Will you?"

"If you ask me, why not?"

"Because we both know that you have so much to accomplish somewhere else."

"But that doesn't mean that I'm happy to leave you." She finally turned to face you. "We can't stay away from each other too long. Sometimes I'll come to see you here, and sometimes you'll come to see me."

"And let's not forget the Champions League." You added.

"Yep, let's not forget that." For a moment, you just looked at each other before she broke the silence again. "You know, I said I didn't want it in a big format above the TV, but we can frame it and put it next to our wedding one." She suggested making you smile. "Or, we can frame it, and I'll keep it with me while you keep our wedding one carefully here."

"Whatever you decide, I'll go with it." You replied very enthusiastically. "Kocham cię (I love you)."

"I know, and Te quiero también (I love you too)"

[yelenasdiary]

what if i have a drabble idea?

yelena x reader

TW self harm trigger warning tho

after the date things get a little heated and it all brings the two into the bedroom. the only thing is that r forgets about the scars on her thighs, and when yelena takes off her pants, silence falls. r starts mumbling, worried about Yelena's reaction, but Yelena starts saying very nice things that warm R's heart and make her feel loved!!!

yeah well, I hope you can do something about it lol

love u, byee

Drabble || My Beautiful Love

Pairing: Yelena Belova x Reader

Summary: Yelena assures you that she loves you no matter what.

Angst, Fluff, Suggestive Themes

Warnings: Light Smut, 18+ ONLY! Minors & Men DNI! Mentions of Self-Harm & Scars, Mentions of Depression & Dark Thoughts. This is not proof read or corrected! | 0.4K

Translations: detka (baby), голубь (dove), moya krasivaya lyubov' (my beautiful love), milyy (darling),

AC: Thank you for sending this, I hope this brings comfort to anybody who needs it. Remember that you are never alone and if you ever need somebody to talk too, my DMs/Asks are always open x

From the front door to the bedroom, the steamy make-out session didn't break. Yelena carried you to the bedroom, your legs wrapped round her waist and your hands tangled in her locks of blonde hair. Gently, she laid you down on to the bed, her lips making their way to your neck making you moan softly at her touch.

Her lips kept you distracted while her hands worked your clothing, you managed to pull her t-shirt off and throw it to the floor before she sat back and slowly pulled your pants off, adding them to the small pile of discarded clothing on the floor.

"Detka" Yelena said ever so softly. Your eyes dropped to your thighs and quickly you pulled the throw blanket over your legs, muttering things Yelena couldn't quite make out. She notice the way you were doing your best to blink back the tears that were building up. "голубь" she spoke once more, moving closer to you, taking your hands into hers, "please don't hide from me" she added.

Silence filled the room before you looked up at her. Without hesitation she kissed you deeply, "moya krasivaya lyubov' , I'm not mad with you and I don't think any less of you" she said, slowly removing the blanket from your legs, "we all have scars" she added.

"B-but mine are...I did that" you replied in a stutter. Yelena gently cupped your face, "you are stronger than anybody I have ever met, ever know for that fact" her thumb gently stroking your cheek, "why didn't you talk to me?" she asked.

You shrugged, "I don't like to worry you with my issues. You have must more important things to worry about than my stupid depressed mind" you replied.

"Detka, nothing is more important to me than you being happy and healthy and that you're safe. I would take a bullet for you if it meant you were going to be okay. Worry me with your mind detka, tell me all those thoughts that keep you up and I will do whatever I can in my power to make you feel better"

Her words meant more to you than you knew it, she pulled you into her arms, hugging you tightly while she whispered sweet nothings to you. She truely was the best, somebody who misunderstood but knew you inside and out and cared about you more than you realised.

"Lena, if it's okay with you...could we just cuddle and watch a movie tonight? I...I j-just want to fall asleep in your arms" you asked. Yelena smiled softly, "of course we can my angel, what movie would you like to watch?" she asked before getting out of bed and getting pjs for the two of you.

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[supercorpkid]

Would it really kill you if we kissed? Final

Supergirl. Baby Danvers. Kara Danvers x B!D!Reader, Alex Danvers x B!D!Reader, Lena Luthor x Reader, Esmé Danvers.

Word Count: 3360.

Previously on part 2. Part 3 of 3 :)

You touch down on the rooftop of your apartment building, the cool night air sharp against your skin, a reminder that you're back in National City, back to the familiar world you tried so hard to leave behind. Once inside, you let your bag drop to the floor, the sound echoing in the silence, and you almost laugh at the absurdity of it—like you thought coming back here would make any of it feel better. But here you are, alone in your apartment, as if you could somehow outrun everything boiling up inside you.

You slump down onto the edge of your bed, and the silence presses in, thick and suffocating. You want to tear it apart, rip through this emptiness just to feel something else, anything else. But all that’s left is the quiet of the apartment against the loud of your raging mind.

You try to remind yourself why you came back—how you told yourself that being away from your sisters, from Lena, would give you space to breathe. But the air here feels no less heavy, and every time you close your eyes, you’re back on that island, hearing your own voice cut through the night,. Every word you threw at Kara and Alex loops through your mind, over and over, until you can barely tell where the anger ends and the regret begins.

And then, there it is, unbidden: the memory of Lena’s smile, her soft laugh, the way her hand lingered just a fraction too long when she’d touch your arm. You wonder what she’s thinking now—if Kara told her what happened, or if she just thinks you’ve vanished, abandoning this one fragile connection you were terrified to admit even to yourself.

You let out a shaky breath, pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes. It doesn’t matter, you tell yourself. You’ve burned the bridge, and you don’t deserve to look back. But the ache doesn’t ease; it settles deeper, a constant reminder that you’ve pushed away everything and everyone that mattered, leaving you with the raw, hollow ache of being completely alone.

The next day, you fly to Midvale, drawn back to the place that’s always felt like home. J’onn and M’gann assure you they have things covered, their gentle understanding a stark contrast to the turmoil you’re carrying. But here you are, hoping that maybe, while back home, the guilt from burning all those bridges won’t feel as heavy.

The moment you arrive, Eliza’s face lights up, her arms open wide for you. “My little girl,” she says softly, pulling you into the kind of hug you didn’t realize you needed. “Wait—I thought you were all off on an island somewhere? Didn’t you go for a vacation?”

"Hmm, yeah. I—I had to come back early because of this… thing." you reply, the words clumsy on your tongue, but she doesn’t press. 

Instead she scans your face. Eliza might not be your birth mother, but damn does she know you like one. She can see right through you, and you don't know if you're just that easy to read or if the people in your life just know you deeply.

"Well then, come in. Let's do the thing." She guides you inside the house, and you try to distract yourself with old feelings and memories instead of the new ones.

It's later that day when Eliza settles on the couch next to you, watching you with that quiet, gentle patience she's always had. "You know,” she begins softly, “you’ve always had the heart of a hero.”

“I think you’re confusing me with Kara,” you mutter, eyes fixed on the floor, but Eliza shakes her head, smiling.

"No, I'm not. Kara was always about the big thing—saving the world. But you, you've always been about the little things. Feeding the homeless, nursing birds and cats back to health, getting stray dogs into the house…" She sighs and you bite your lips so you don't smile at the memories. "You didn't even use your powers most of the time."

"Well, if I remember correctly, I wasn't allowed to."

"Oh, like that ever stopped the two of you." she chuckles, and despite yourself, you smile at the memories. "When you two landed here, Kara was mad most of the time. Just angry at the world and I got that, she had every reason. But you were always so kind. A sweet little thing ready to help anything that moved. Oh, and let’s not forget the plants,” she adds with a wink.

“Where are you going with this?”

She breathes deep. "That always worried me."

"What? You worried about me?"

“Still do, sweetheart. You had every reason to be mad too. But you never let your feelings show. You keep so much inside, bottled up.” Eliza reaches for your face, her hand soothing on your cheek, and you lean into the touch you so desperately need. “I don’t know what happened, but you’re allowed to be a mess, to explode, to embrace the difficult feelings.”

You lean into her hand, your eyes stinging. “Well, you might be glad to know that I… finally let it out.”

She nods slowly, eyes full of warmth. “And that’s okay. Just don’t hold on to those feelings for too long. Don’t let them chip away at the good, sweet part of you.”

You nod, her words sinking in as you finally let yourself breathe. Maybe it’s time to start processing all of this without the anger clouding it, without the need to keep defending your heart. You’re home now, and maybe here, you can start to sift through everything, piece by piece, until it hurts a little less.

Over the next couple of days, you stay in Midvale, trying to get your shit together while Eliza makes sure you’re giving yourself the space to feel every hurt, every regret you’ve been holding back. Slowly, you reconnect with parts of yourself you’d almost forgotten in all this mess, while Lena's words take root in some deep place inside—a place that cannot simply be brushed off or resolved, only managed.

You're not alone. You have to stop being alone.

When you finally feel ready, you head back to National City, determined to face the aftermath of your choices. The first thing you see when you walk into your apartment is Kara—waiting for you. The sight of her feels like a punch to the gut, all the words you’d left unspoken swirling around in your mind.

"Kara!" You manage to squeak out, your heart racing. "You're—you're back!"

Kara lets out a small sigh, her shoulders slumping as if the weight of your words has landed squarely on her just now. "I can't believe you said all those mean things and just... left us to sit with them."

You look down, biting the inside of your mouth, your heart tightening. "I know. I'm sorry. I—I guess I couldn't handle you being disappointed in me."

Kara’s expression softens, her gaze finding yours. "I would never be disappointed in you," she says quietly, stepping closer until she’s just a breath away. Her voice holds a warmth that reaches past your defenses. "I just don’t understand why you went so long without telling me any of this. Why would you keep it all to yourself?"

"Because I was afraid," you admit, the words coming out barely above a whisper. You clench your hands together, holding back the wave of emotions threatening to spill over. "Afraid to lose you. To lose everyone, actually." Your voice shakes, and you blink hard, forcing down the tears currently burning your eyes. "I can’t lose you, Kara."

Kara reaches out, her hand gentle as it lands on your shoulder. "You’ll never lose me, Y/N." she murmurs, her voice filled with an honesty that you can’t ignore. "But I don’t want you to feel like you’re losing yourself just to be my sister, or some idea of what you think I need you to be."

You breathe in, taking in the truth of her words, letting them settle into the cracks you’ve been trying to ignore. "It’s just... it’s exhausting, Kara. Trying to keep up with you and everything I need to be. And it hurts. All of it."

"I never wanted you to feel like that," she says, her voice filled with regret. "I thought we were doing this together. But now I see, I was so focused on how much having you by my side helped me, how much I needed you, that I didn’t think about how it felt for you."

You meet her eyes, finally allowing yourself to let down some of the defenses you've built up. "I didn’t know you needed me, I just felt like I was just fading into the background. Just the other hero, the one who's supposed to fit into your world. I didn’t want you to feel like I was letting you down."

Kara’s thumb traces gently along your cheekbone, wiping away the last of your tears. “You’ve never let me down, and you were never just another hero.” Her words are like a balm on a wound that’s been aching for too long. “Maybe I got so used to you being my strength that I forgot to let you lean on me too. But you’re not just my little sister or my backup out there. You were never second best to me. You’re everything good that I wish I could be.” Her voice wavers, a crack slipping through her steady tone. “I’m sorry that I haven’t always shown you that. And I’m sorry I made you feel like you had to be someone you didn’t want to be.”

The raw honesty in her voice, the way her words strip away the last remnants of the defenses you’ve held, reaches deep inside you. You take a shaky breath, nodding as the fear that’s held you silent finally dissolves, leaving only the truth between you.

"I guess things will change a little if you really want me there."

"Oh trust me, knowing you're there with me it's what makes me like supering so much." Kara’s hands cup your face softly, grounding you in this moment. “And Rao, Y/N, I’m not in love with Lena. I never was, and I never will be. And even if I was…” She pauses, her gaze unwavering. “I would always put your happiness above mine.”

“Don’t say that,” you whisper, your heart clenching.

“It’s true. You mean everything to me. But also—Lena’s just my best friend. I love her, but not like that, okay?” Kara’s voice is gentle, pleading. “Please, do something about it. You deserve to be happy with her. You’ve held back for so long, and I hate that you felt you had to.”

A small, trembling smile breaks through as the weight of everything you’ve been carrying finally lightens enough for you to throw your arms around your sister, pulling her into a hug that’s been building since this whole thing started.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you and pushed you away,” you whisper, a smile breaking through the last of your tears. “I missed you every day.”

“I missed you too.” Kara’s voice is soft, and you can hear the smile in it—a warmth that melts away the tension in your body, easing the ache you’ve been holding onto. The closeness, her arms around you, feels like the piece you’d been missing all along.

For a moment, you both stay like that, wrapped in the quiet, finally able to be vulnerable without walls, without all the unspoken weight between you. In her arms, with her smile in your ear, the ache doesn’t just ease—it starts to heal.

Kara places a soft kiss on the top of your head, her arms still holding you close. “Now go. Go talk to Lena.”

You pull back slightly, hesitating. “Are you sure? Are we… good?”

Her smile is gentle, warm. “I think we haven’t been this good in months. So yeah, I’m sure. Go to her!”

Your heart swells, and you lean in, pressing a grateful kiss to her cheek. “I love you,” you murmur, the words carrying more weight than ever.

Her smile widens, eyes shining. “I love you, ie.”

With that, you take a steadying breath, feeling stronger than you have in a long time, ready to face whatever comes next. And next is… Alex.

You knock on her door, expecting to be greeted with anger, but instead, you’re met with a soft, “Hey! Come on in. We’re still unpacking!”

“Auntie!” Esmé jumps onto your leg, her face lighting up with joy as you scoop her up and plant a smooch on her cheek, earning a delighted giggle. “Where were you?”

“Oh, I went to visit your grandma.”

Alex glances up from her bag, raising an eyebrow. “Did you really go to see Mom?”

“Yep.” You set Esmé down, and she dashes off, following Kelly's call to help organize her room—basically code for leaving you and Alex alone.

“So I don’t have to go full mom on you?” Alex asks, crossing her arms playfully, and a smile tugs at your lips.

“Guess not.”

“Good.” Alex steps closer and places a gentle kiss on your forehead, her warmth soothing. “Sorry I didn’t keep your secret.”

“No, Alex, you were right. It was eating me alive. I don’t know how I didn’t explode earlier. I’m sorry for making you feel guilty; you are the perfect big sis.” You offer her a soft smile, genuine gratitude flowing between you. “I’m glad I finally got it all out in the open.”

Alex reaches for your arm, her touch reassuring. “Feel better now?”

You nod. “A bit guilty from all the yelling, but yeah. I guess I needed that. It’s like the weight’s been lifted.”

“Have you seen Lena yet?” she asks, her expression turning serious.

“No. Just Kara.”

“Alright then. Thanks for stopping by. Don't leave without saying goodbye to your niece again. And go confess your feelings to Lena, or I swear to God, I’ll tell her myself.”

You narrow your eyes at her, half-serious. “Just because this worked once doesn’t mean it will work again.”

“Hmmm, I’m pretty sure it will.” she says with a smirk, a glimmer of encouragement in her gaze.

You give her balcony door a soft knock, peering in to see Lena by the couch, a drink in hand, looking more tired than before the vacation. Her bag still sits half-unpacked nearby. At the sight of you, she scowls but heads over, unlocking the balcony door and stepping aside for you to come in.

“Hey, Lena,” you offer, voice soft.

“Don’t ‘hey Lena’ me,” she snaps, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. “I’m mad at you!” She turns abruptly and heads toward the kitchen, leaving you standing by the door, unsure whether you should follow. “How could you? We were all excited to spend time with you, to finally have you around without your lame ass excuses, but you spent most of the time there hiding behind a six-year-old, and then you just got up and left without a word!”

“Lena, I’m so—”

But she doesn’t let you finish. “Did I not deserve a goodbye? Do I really mean so little to you?”

The hurt in her voice strikes deep, and you take a step closer, the words tumbling out before you can stop them. “No! Lena, you mean everything to me! I just… I couldn’t face you. Not with everything I was feeling.”

She finally turns to look at you, her eyes sharp, a blend of anger and pain. “Then tell me. What was so unbearable that you couldn’t talk to me? Because I was there baring my heart open to you. And you —you just left me! You left us! What's the point of a family trip if you're not even there?”

You swallow hard, heart pounding as you force yourself to meet her gaze. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. You're right, I never should've left."

"Of course I'm right!" Her hands turn into fists, angry bubbling up and you let her have her outburst, because now you understand how important they are. "I tried everything, Y/N. I begged you for your time. I tried to have you open up to me, but you just kept shutting me off! You've been shutting me off for months now, and God, what did I do to you?” Lena’s voice breaks. “What did I do to deserve it? Why do you hate me now?"

"I don't. Lena, baby, I could never hate you." You force yourself to come closer even though you are terrified of her reaction to what you're about to say. "I actually love you so much, I was scared of the feeling."

"What?"

"I love you, Lena. I've been in love with you since the first time I saw you."

Lena’s expression falters, the anger flickering into surprise, maybe even shock. She stares at you, words failing her as she searches your face, as if trying to decipher if she heard you right, if you’re serious. The silence stretches thin, and for a split second, you’re sure you’ve gone too far, that you’ve finally broken something you can’t fix.

But then, slowly, Lena’s shoulders drop, and a softness replaces the tension in her eyes. “You… you love me?” she whispers, her voice barely more than a breath.

You nod, a shaky exhale leaving your lips as you finally let the words settle into the open. "I love you. I know it might seem impossible after how I acted, and I know I messed up by pushing you away. But, Lena, every single moment, I’ve been in love with you. It was just… easier to hide than to risk losing you over it.”

"God, you're—you're infuriating, Y/N Danvers!" She grabs the collar of your t-shirt with surprising strength, prompting you closer. "If you didn't spend all of your time running and hiding from me, you would see that I'm also in love with you!"

“You are?” you almost stumble back in shock, but she’s holding you so tightly that you barely move. “You really feel the same?”

"Yes, darling.” Her tone is suddenly so sweet and soft, and yet she doesn’t let go of you. “I really do feel the same. Now you already made me wait for too long, so… Would it really kill you if we kissed?"

Your heart races as her words sink in, the weight of her admission filling the air between you. You stare into her eyes, searching for any hint of doubt, but all you see is warmth and a fierce determination that makes you feel like the only person in the world. 

"It might kill me if we don't."

Without a second thought, you close the distance, your lips finding hers in a rush of pent-up emotion. The kiss is electrifying, a fire that you both had been trying to deny for far too long. Lena’s hands release their grip on your collar and tangle in your hair, pulling you closer as if she’s afraid you might vanish again. You melt into her, relishing the sweetness of the moment, the soft taste of her lips awakening every nerve ending in your body.

When you finally pull away, breathless, Lena’s eyes shine with a mix of mischief and sincerity. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Actually, I was terrified.” you joke, and she rolls her eyes at your antics.

“Well then, how about another kiss to make you feel less scared?”

You laugh, the sound bubbling up as you lean in again, savoring the sensation of her against you, the way her lips move with yours, the warmth radiating from her body. In that moment, the past feels like a distant memory, and all that matters is this connection between you both.

As you pull back, breathless and smiling, Lena’s gaze is intense, filled with promise. “You’re not going anywhere this time, right?”

“Never again.” you reply, your heart full of certainty. “I’m right where I wanna be.”

[fazedlight]

Irish (soft season 6 ficlet)

Kara knew something was wrong.

Not dangerous wrong. Lena’s heart rate was steady and calm, and there was no one else in the apartment with her. But as Kara flew above the few buildings left to her apartment, she could see how Lena was hunched over, see the stress and sadness in her body. And it made Kara’s heart ache.

Landing in the open window, Kara stepped inside, the small taps alerting Lena to her entrance. “Kara,” Lena said, trying to hide the distress on her face as she rose from the couch, grabbing at VHS tapes spread in front of the TV. “You’re home early.”

“They put out the fire before I got there,” Kara said softly. “The winds weren’t as bad as they thought.”

Lena nodded, hurriedly placing the pile of tapes into a familiar box. Kara had flown the box back to National City herself - one of the many artifacts carried over from Lena’s mother’s home, which Lena inherited at the age of 18. Lena had only gone once or twice as an adult, until the discovery of her magic made her curious to reconnect to what she could of her mother. “Are you okay?” Kara asked.

“I’m fine,” Lena said.

“Lena.” Kara stepped forward, kneeling on the rug, gently taking Lena’s busy hands into her own. “Lena, I’m here.”

Lena paused, leaving the remaining tapes next to the TV, taking a slow breath as she dropped back to sit on the floorboards instead. “I just didn’t expect to feel this way.”

“Feel what way?”

Lena stared down at the floor, not quite ready to look Kara in the eye. “I was so young. There’s so much I don’t remember.”

Kara took a seat in front of her, still holding Lena’s hands. She waited patiently - silent, and comforting, letting Lena take her time to think or talk as she wished.

“In one of the tapes,” Lena said, her voice a touch deeper than normal, “She sang an Irish lullaby. I haven’t heard it in decades. The melody slammed back into me.”

“I’m sure it was lovely,” Kara said.

“She spoke to me. In Irish. She spoke to me, and I didn’t understand what she was saying,” Lena said, frustrated. “And in the tape, I spoke back, and I didn’t understand what I was saying. It’s all gone.”

And that’s when Kara stiffened, a bolt of lightning running through her as she understood. It was different in her case, of course - she had once thought herself the last to speak a language, carrying a dead culture in her soul. Through sheer luck, she was able to get her father, her mother, her people back - but the feeling of being orphaned, she understood, if in a different way than Lena. “The Luthors don’t speak Irish,” Kara replied.

“Language attrition is common in children who stop speaking their first language before the age of 12,” Lena said softly, in a tone that made Kara realize that Lena must’ve read about this a dozen times before. “I didn’t know what I was losing until it was too late.”

“Lena,” Kara said, leaning forward to give the brunette a hug. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know it sounds so silly,” Lena said. “It’s not like I have much need to speak Irish.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t mourn what you’ve lost,” Kara said, thinking back to a million conversations she’d had with Kelly about her own traumas, even if later they were reversed by fate. “You can still be sad about it.”

Lena sighed, melting into Kara’s arms, and Kara felt relieved. They sat, wrapped in each other’s embrace and breathing in the peace of the evening, Kara rubbing gently at Lena’s back until Lena was ready. “Well, I can put the rest of this away,” Lena said, pulling back, her voice steady for the first time that evening. “We can start cooking dinner.”

Kara nodded, watching as Lena gazed back - a bit mournful, a bit sad, but a certain lightness compared to before. “If it helps,” Kara said gently, with one last thought, “I can learn Irish with you? It may not be like before, but sometimes getting some of the pieces back can mean something.”

Lena looked at her for a moment, before smiling. “I’d like that.”